Time For a Quick Update

Howdy!  It has been awhile since I've posted an update.  Life has been very routine with no huge excitement lately. That's AMAZING after all the "excitement" of Joshua's pregnancy!  But for my blog fans out there (I love you, Mom and Dad), here's the update you requested.

JOSHUA:  19 months old now, he is just your typical toddler, always exploring and playing. He loves reading, playing with trucks, and building towers with his Mega Blocks.  This normalcy is beyond our wildest dreams after his rough start.  Sometimes, when we meet new people here in Mississippi, they don't get how scary it was with Joshua in the beginning. They just see a completely normal toddler. If I start to tell his story, their eyes gloss over, or I get a polite response but can tell they're thinking, "uh huh, ya right." That can be annoying sometimes since the first six months of 2012, with our precarious pregnancy and long NICU stay, consisted of the biggest upheaval and testimony of faith in our lives. Now it's as if it's a figment of our imagination.  Actually, that's a good thing. We escaped without any scars, and there's no need to dwell on the difficulty of the past when the present and future are shining so bright.

If you can see it, the bottom line right above Joshua's ear is where he measured at 12 months.

I don't know if Joshua is just glowing from escaping survival mode unscathed, or what, but he is quite possibly the happiest child I've ever seen. Sure he fusses if he's hungry or tired or if he's startled by a loud noise (he's a little sensitive) or if his big brother is too rough with him (but he sure can hold his own now, mastering the Heisman stiff-arm and even going on the offensive at times).  For the most part, though, he's all smiles and giggles. We no longer need to use his adjusted age (based on his due date) to follow his growth or development since he has caught up to his actual age. He just had his 18 month well baby appointment, and he weighs 24.5 lbs, which is in the 23rd percentile for his actual age. His height is in the 48th percentile, and his head circumference is in the 86th percentile. No surprise that he's caught up so well since he eats anything and everything and almost as much as his daddy.

Here's a quick video of how proud Joshua is of his growth.
Look how tall Joshua is!

JEREMIAH: 3.5 years old, he's growing up so quickly. He is enjoying homeschool preschool. It's not really homeschooling, just playing, lots of reading, writing/coloring, and art projects or whatever we feel like doing, but I call it that just because it seems like I'm the only person I know who doesn't send my 3 year old to formal preschool.  We just have fun at home.   He started AWANA Cubbies at church this year, and he absolutely loves it. The latest excitement has been our daily bike rides/walks to watch the big diggers, dump trucks, bulldozers, rollers, etc working in our neighborhood. It's nonstop entertainment for both boys, and they love it when the dump trucks honk and wave.

I LOVE Boys!

About a month ago, Jeremiah convinced us to take the training wheels off his bike. Here's a video. What you can't see in the video is the huge pregnant lady pushing a stroller with one hand and running alongside him with a camera in the other hand, practically jumping with excitement. We were pretty proud of him.

Jeremiah riding with no training wheels! 3.5 years old.

BABY A AND BABY B:  Two days ago, we hit the 29 week milestone. This pregnancy is cruising by pretty smoothly, so I have no complaints. We had a bit of a scare last week when I was having a lot of contractions in a regular pattern, but it turned out to be nothing serious. My uterus is stretched about the same size as a full term singleton pregnancy (6 lbs worth of babies plus lots of amniotic fluid and a huge shared placenta), so it's kind of acting like it's full term. I just overdid it that day and didn't stay on top of my nutrition or fluid intake. It took a few days for the contractions to die down, but we're fine now. It was a wake up call for us to take things down a notch to be a little more sloth-like.

Here's the comparison between 29 weeks with Joshua, about 2 lbs, one week before delivery (and I was sticking my gut out as far as I could to try to look more pregnant!) vs. 29 weeks with two 3+ lb babies.
  

The twins seem to be pretty active, and I'm putting my money on future soccer players, given the way they can kick.  It feels like an octopus lives in my belly! I have continued to get ultrasounds to monitor for growth every three weeks, and they have always been very close in size to each other. Since they share a placenta, one of the risks is discordant growth, where one twin gets more nutrients than the other and grows at a faster rate, but that hasn't been the case with us.  At our last ultrasound, at 26 weeks, they weighed an estimated 2 lbs 2 oz and 2 lbs 4 oz, almost the same size as Joshua at birth (30 weeks).  They were both head down, which is great news for trying to avoid a C-Section (if the first one is breech, I would most likely need a C-section). Hopefully they'll stay in that position.  So far, so good! I'm feeling all of those third trimester annoyances of a normal pregnancy (and then some since it's double the pleasure, double the fun), but I'm not complaining since I missed out on all that with Joshua.  We couldn't be more pleased with how this pregnancy is going!

Announcing........TWINS!!!!!!!!!

HUGE NEWS:  I'm Pregnant!  With TWINS!!!!  

15 weeks along, due in December, and everything with this pregnancy is perfectly normal so far.

That's the nutshell version.  Of course if you've ever read one of my blogs, you know there is always a long version waiting to be told as brevity is not my strong point. Ya got the gist of it in the first two sentences, so feel free to sign off and not miss much. But if you're dying to know more, here's the full scoop.  

First of all, to answer some of the questions I have gotten:  

1. No, we don't know the gender yet. 

2. Yes, twins run in my family. My mom's grandfather had FOUR sets of twins for siblings, but not all of them survived.  This, however, is irrelevant (see #5).

3. No, I have never taken Clomid or any type of infertility medication or IVF (see #5).

4. Yes, I am "Advanced Maternal Age" (> 35 year old) which means I'm one old chick for a pregnant lady.  Geez, I never felt old until seeing that stamped on my chart every OB visit. But no, my "old" eggs had nothing to do with it (see #5) because...

5. They are identical twins.  Monochorionic diamniotic twins, for you med geeks out there.  That means they share one gestational sac; they share a placenta; and they each have their own amniotic sac.  They also have the same genetic makeup.  Unlike fraternal twins, which come from two eggs each fertilized by a separate sperm, these babies started out as one egg and one sperm and split apart 4-8 days after conception, making two babies. This is a spontaneous or random event (medically speaking), so things that increase the likelihood of fraternal twins (maternal age, infertility treatments, race, family history, etc) aren't a factor here. Identical twins occur with a flat rate of 1 out of 350 births regardless of age, history, IVF treatment, etc. 

Now that we got that out of the way...

We had a little bit of drama in the beginning, and HOPEFULLY that's the end of the drama with this pregnancy. As instructed by the MFM (high risk pregnancy doctor), given my history, I went in for an ultrasound at 6 weeks to make sure everything was looking ok.  I was a little apprehensive after Joshua's pregnancy which was sandwiched between two miscarriages, one of which was a twin pregnancy (lost at 12 weeks).  The doctor narrated what she saw, and she said, "ok, there's just one gestational sac..." My last twin pregnancy had two sacs, so my first thought was a slight disappointment that there was just one baby. Then she zoomed in and said, "there's two yolk sacs...and (zooming in more) two babies..." Whoa!  She immediately said, "but don't get too excited because with ultrasounds this early, it's not uncommon for one of the 'fetuses' to reabsorb back into the body, making it a singleton pregnancy. Most women never even know they had twins. They just get their first ultrasound at 8-12 weeks and the twin is gone by then." Then she saw they each had heartbeats.  Baby A's heart rate was 101, rechecked to be 100.  Baby B's was a perfect 120.  100 is low. She said if the heart rate is <100, that's a sign the baby won't survive, and it will just be reabsorbed back into my body.  If it's >100, it's a sign that the baby will most likely survive.  She said it could go either way, so she wouldn't make any predictions. At this point I was thinking, "Can I just please have a non-nail biting pregnancy?"

We kept the whole pregnancy under wraps (no small feat!) until we knew for sure if there was one or two babies in there. We had to wait five weeks, not knowing if we had twins or not. During that time, of course, I fully jumped aboard the twin wagon, reading every website I could get my eyes on and every twin book the local libraries carried. I knew I was setting myself up for disappointment, but I figured if he/she didn't survive, I could at least be a mom of twins for a few weeks and embrace it, but I sure would mourn the loss if it occurred.  I think it was on  my mind literally every minute of every day. James (smart, logical and nearly anti-emotional man that he is), stayed guarded and didn't start reading up on things until after my 11th week, when we knew for sure.  

At 11 weeks, the ultrasound showed two beautiful, active babies each with normal heart rates around 160.  Whew! Crisis averted.  We will get an ultrasound every 3 weeks for awhile to make sure the heart rates and fluid levels look good and that the babies are the same size. With monochorionic twins (sharing a placenta) there is a risk of one twin getting more nutrition than the other and growing at a faster rate. This would be a bad thing, so we'll follow their growth with regular ultrasounds.  As a matter of fact, there are a lot of risks with identical twins, such as prematurity, low birth weight, preeclampsia, placental abruption...all stuff I'd rather not get into now.

When I gave my OB history to the MFM during Joshua's pregnancy, I said I was so bummed about my first miscarriage mainly because it was twins, and I've always wanted twins. He put things in perspective saying "You do NOT want twins!  Nothing but trouble!" Of course he sees only the complications, so he's a little biased, but it did shed a new light on things, that it isn't always fun and games and bringing home two big healthy term babies.  I met a lot of families with twin babies in the NICU, so I know prematurity and complications are a reality for many twins.  Personally, I'm not sure if I can dig up the gumption to go through another round of bedrest and NICU (especially when the closest high level NICU is in New Orleans, 96 miles away from us, and our rock star support network in CO is now far away), so I'm just going to live in denial and do whatever I can to stay as healthy as possible and pray that we can end up with two 6-7 lb babies born at 37 weeks.  Many of you, my prayer partners/supporters from the last time around, are probably sick of me begging for prayers, so I'll hold off on groveling until it becomes a necessity.   But if you just happen to be looking for something to fill your prayer list, please feel free to add us to it, just for continued normalcy of this pregnancy. 

For now, I'm just riding the blissful wave of having a "normal" pregnancy. Unlike with Joshua's pregnancy, I have felt very pregnant from the beginning of this pregnancy with no underlying sense of doom. This first trimester had oppressive fatigue, horrible nausea (both welcomed at the time but thankfully resolved now), and no bleeding. My belly is already bigger than it was when I delivered Joshua at 30 weeks, and I've already gained more weight than I did in that entire pregnancy. I'm just excited to be able to wear maternity clothes this time around.  As James teases, I'm "as big as a house!" which is about the best compliment he can give me after the last time around when I was so anxious about not gaining any weight.  I told him he ain't seen nothin' yet.

Life is good!  

About 30 seconds after our family dispersed after taking the above picture (where he was trying to act like he's not excited for two babies taking over his role as baby in the family), Joshua decided to turn on his charm and act like his normal jovial self.  I love these guys!

One Year Old!

One year ago, I was sitting with Joshua in the NICU. Now I see him crawling all over the house and happily getting into everything he comes across.  It's amazing how so much change can occur in a year! I made a video montage of Joshua's first year which pretty much sums up everything.  Between that project and my recent project of publishing a book out of this blog, I have been walking down Memory Lane a lot lately. I had forgotten so much about the difficulties we faced early on. It's easier to see Joshua as the mover and shaker chatterbox that he is now rather than the frail little thing he was a year ago.  If you're interested in a little stroll down Memory Lane, grab a Kleenex and check out this video.

We had fun celebrating Joshua's birthday this weekend.  Here are some pictures of the day.

Joshua liked his cake so much, he didn't want to share. "Dad, put the knife down, and step away from the cake!" (Thanks for the caption, Allie).

 Birthdays are fun!

 

That little car in the background has been an absolute favorite toy of Jermiah's for over 2 years, through every stage. Unfortunately, through time or just wear and tear, the noisy gizmos/gadgets have become mute beyond repair. I figure it's only fair Joshua gets a noisy car of his own to play with over the next few years. Boy, does he love it!

11 months old 

12 Months Old

 

The video link above has all of his monthly growth pictures together for a quick comparison.  That's about it. Thanks for joining us on this journey!

One Year Anniversary

One year ago today, our life changed drastically. It was the day we "grew up" instantly when we had to make the toughest decision of our lives.  Would we stay in the hospital for a C-section to deliver a 24 week old, 15 oz baby who would have a 40% chance of survival and 100% chance of mental retardation and/or major problems in virtually every organ system? Or would we go home and risk having a stillbirth at any moment?  Oh, and by the way, based on the markers found on ultrasound, the odds of a major choromosomal disorder were pretty close to 100%.  It was the lowest moment of my life.  I specifically remember sitting at the stoplight at the intersection of Hwy 105 and Jackson Creek Parkway. Through tears, I said to James, "For all we know, maybe in 18 years we'll be sitting at his graduation ceremony celebrating a normal high school graduate.  Or college.  Or even medical school!" I don't remember if I truly believed that or not, but I tried so hard to think of something positive, clinging to that seemingly one in a million chance of a healthy baby. 

Well, if you have seen just one other post, you've seen how much of a miracle Joshua is. We made it over six weeks on bedrest before delivering a relatively healthy 30 weeker, which is light years different from a 24 week preemie.  Over the past year, he has completely defied statistics and medical predictions.  Amazing.  Looking at him now, you'd never guess he had such a rough start. Especially since moving to Mississippi in November, he has just taken off with his growth and development.  Just like any other 8 month old, he is now Army crawling across the room and gets up on his hands and knees and rocks back and forth, ready to take off with a true crawl any day now.  And if he isn't super hungry or tired (or being smashed by his big brother), he is all smiles and laughs.

A few days ago, I went back and reread my blog. I was surprised at how much I had forgotten about those early days.  Seeing Joshua now, it's almost unbelievable how bleak his outlook was back then.  I think about how different our life would be if he had been born at 24 weeks weighing less than a pound. If he had survived, he would have many special needs requiring a drastic lifestyle change for our family. Or the other "option," stillbirth. I can't imagine a life without that little ray of sunshine. Why did God choose to spare us when so many other families have to endure so much hardship?  Our faith isn't any stronger than theirs. We aren't any better than anyone else.  We don't love Him any more than they do. Why were we spared?  It's an answer we won't know until we meet Him face to face. 

Looking back, another miracle to attribute to God is the peace He gave me while I was on bedrest. I reached a point of serenity that I had never experienced before or since.  God knew exactly what Joshua needed, and it was any extra blood flow and as little stress hormone as possible. Believe me, there have been moments, in the trenches at home all day with a baby and a toddler, when I have looked back wondering where that serenity went and how I can get it back.  When I realize it now takes me 6 weeks to finish a book, and my daily Bible reading isn't always so...daily, I wish I could have some quiet time to read and relax.  Thankfully, back than I had a hunch life would get busy again, so I savored each moment and stored up all of the relaxing I could. I bet if you average out the whole year, I still had a lot more time "relaxing" than the average person.  I love how I can look back at the hardest time in my life as a time of relaxation. It truly is how you spin it. It's easier to just look back and remember the good stuff. 

So, here we are, at the anniversary of the date that will, for us, live in infamy. Over the past year, every reference to time has been based on "pre-January 18th" and "post-January 18th." Now that a year has past, I finally feel as though I am standing back on dry land again. For most of it, especially during and right after the NICU experience (ok, maybe even during our move across the country away from our family and friends and culture we know and love), I was treading water, barely able to keep my head above the surface. Then it gradually got shallower, and the current lessened, and I can finally say with confidence, "I can handle all this now."  My feet are back underneath me after feeling like the rug was pulled out from under us so harshly. I am not quite as carefree as I once was. A more serious side of my personality has taken over.  I don't think that's a bad thing, just...different.  I have definitely found a higher level of appreciation for the importance of friends and family.  I had never personally realized how vital a role they play. Thank you all so much for getting us through this. From the tangible things like meals to the prayers and encouragement through emails and calls, and lifting us up when we felt like we were hanging from just a thread of a rope, I can't thank you enough.  I still shake my head in amazement thinking of how so many people from so many places joined together in prayer on our behalf. WOW! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Yesterday, Joshua got a little stuck in the Exersaucer.

Today, he discovered a new toy. I was almost as excited as he was when he figured it out.

Welcome 2013!

I initially wrote GOOD RIDDANCE 2012 as a title, but then I changed it, figuring I better keep it more positive.  Let's just say we're happy to officially be in a new year.  I hope everyone had a great Christmas.  We had a nice time celebrating with the boys in Mississippi, but it didn't feel like Christmas without extended family and snow.  We had been traveling so much over the past few months (Minnesota in Oct/Nov and Florida in early Dec, and I was in Texas for a couple of days in Dec), so we didn't have the heart to uproot the boys once we finally stated getting into a routine in our new home.  On Christmas day we donned our shorts and went for a long ride/run (I was on my mountain bike and James ran pushing the double jogger) along the beach to a new playground.  That was a new Christmas tradition for us, and we all had so much fun. See pictures below.

 

Joshua is now 10 months old, and he is growing like a weed...not surprising since his stomach seems to be a bottomless pit. He sure loves to eat!  He has mastered solid foods, and he's down to only a couple of bottles a day (before nap time).  Yesterday he weighed 16 lbs 15.5 oz, which I'll happily round up to 17 lbs.  That's huge.  We were always measuring him on his age adjusted growth scale (based on his due date, not his birth date), and he hovered around the 5th-10th percentile for his adjusted age.  Well, if we look at his adjusted age now, for a 7.5 month old, he'd be at the 26th percentile.  Guess what, folks! He's officially on the 10 month old curve now, and he's in the 7th percentile!  His height is also on the 10 month old curve at around the 10th percentile.  On this pace, he should be "caught up" to normal 12 month olds by his 1st birthday!  Developmentally, it should take 2 years to catch up.   His head circumference is in the 45th percentile for his actual 10 month old age (it has always been big, so not concerning), so he has a big noggin just like his mom and dad.

 

That's about it to report, since the purpose of this blog is mainly to show some pics and videos.  I realize they may be boring to most people, but our family members who haven't seen the kids for awhile might appreciate them. 

 

Oh, you may notice Jeremiah has given Joshua and himself nicknames, and they have stuck. Joshua is Bug.  He has always been so cuddly, and one day I said, "You're my little Cuddle Bug!"  Jeremiah then announced, "We call him BUG!"  He also likes to tell that to everyone, including strangers, which generates some interesting looks.  Jeremiah has named himself Big Pickle, after Goliath in the Veggie Tales movie Dave and the Giant Pickle. He loves doing a straight body fall flat on his face like Goliath did after David hit him with the stone.  He tells everyone to call him Pickle.  

 

  We missed the 8 month old pic since the lamb was packed away by the movers, so here's the 8.5 month picture.

 

It's getting harder to line up Joshua, the lamb, and the sign! 

 

Big Pickle jumping off the bed, his latest favorite hobby. No, we're not trying to generate business for James now that he's back into orthopedics. He lands on a huge pile of blankets and pillows.

 



We came across this Christmas tree scene on the beach one day when we were driving home from church. A professional photographer had it set up for some clients who hadn't shown up yet. She was so nice to let us take a few minutes to take some amateur pics on our own.

 

I love my boys!

 Christmas is so fun!

 

This whole "getting presents thing" is pretty cool!  Forget the rest; I'll just play with the first one I opened.

 

Jeremiah has always had a thing for slides, especially when Dad tries to grab him.

 

It's fun to get thrown up in the air!

 

I'm a spider in a web!

 

I love being LOUD!

 

This video was taken 4 days ago. Joshua creatively maneuvered himself around the room. That's a rare opportunity since it's hard to roam free with his big brother always ready to jump on him. 

 

Yesterday he crawled, kind of!

 



Joshua loves his Johnny Jumper! 

Hanging out with my boys over lunch. 

 

It's so fun to play make believe with Jeremiah. Let's wake up some bears! I didn't grab the camera until the 3rd time I woke up the bears, and it was still fun for him. Oh to be two...

Last video, and you need the volume up to hear Jeremiah singing the Veggie Tales theme song.

 

I accidentally uploaded the wrong pic, and for some reason, I can't delete this, so you can see an outtake, too. 

 



A Belated Thanksgiving Joshua Update

Thanksgiving came and went without a post from me, someone who has so much to be thankful for! Every now and then, I look at Joshua and shake my head in amazement at the way things have turned out. Could it really be, after all he has been through, that Joshua is turning out to be a normal, healthy baby?! God is so GOOD!  Looking back to January 18, 2012, we never would have dreamed of how good he looks now. WOW!

Joshua had his 9 month check up last week. It was all good news. He is right on track with where a 6.5 month old (adjusted age) should be, developmentally. He is rolling both ways, sitting up on his own, interacting appropriately... no concerns. In preemies, the developmental milestones usually catch up to actual age by 2 years old.  Eating solid foods has been a tedious process, but he's showing improvement each day, and it's not concerning at all to his new pediatrician (who we love).  He is drinking 8 oz bottles every 3 hours and acting like he wants to eat more, so we are hoping he really picks up solids quickly. He likes the taste, but his little tongue can't figure out how to push the food back instead of right back out. It's something his new therapist will work with him on. Given his low birth weight, he still qualifies for the state run program to have weekly home PT/OT in Mississippi, just as he did in Colorado. 

Get a load of this: he weighed in at 15 lbs 11 oz!  That's almost on the scale for 9 month olds. He is gaining ground every month, and he is on track to reach that scale by his 12 month appointment.  For length, he is already on the 9 month scale in the 9th percentile, and his head circumference is in the 9 month 40th percentile range. At his appointment, he had his first injection in the series of Synergis, the vaccination to prevent RSV, that nasty virus that can wreak havoc on babies in the winter.  We have been expecting a hospital admission if/when it hits.  The doctor told us he is no longer a tiny, weak baby, and if he catches a cold, he will most likely act like any other baby his age, so we don't have to worry. Now it looks like we'll find out firsthand because Jeremiah is getting over a case of croup, and now I have a cold. Two nights ago, Joshua had such bad nasal congestion that he woke up every 30 minutes fussing from difficulty breathing. Finally I spent the rest of the night with him on the recliner, and he slept a little better upright.

Speaking of the glamorous life of motherhood, I had one of those moments this morning that I imagine every mom has where we step outside ourselves remembering our carefree days of youth and wonder "how did my life turn into this?" Jeremiah, who as I mentioned has been sick, hadn't been sleeping well, so when he fell asleep in the stroller yesterday at 3:00 PM, we decided to just keep him in there to let him sleep. He was out for the night, and at about 10:00, I transferred the sleeping cutiepie to his bed (which is actually a blanket on the floor since he has refused his new twin bed since moving to our new house), and he didn't even stir. Well, no surprise at all, at 3:00 AM, he woke up raring to go, wanting to play with me. As I was trying to wrap my foggy, sick brain around this, Joshua woke up crying. We were all stuffy nosed and coughing, so we had a nice little party in the bathroom with the shower running. Thankfully Joshua eventually went back to sleep, but Jeremiah isn't showing any signs of slowing down. I have declared that is reason enough to pop in a little Veggietales while I (hopefully) snooze on the couch (once I finish this post). Sometimes you have to improvise and do what it takes to get through the day, even if it means temporarily using the tv as a babysitter.  I'll post pictures in another post. 

PS. I just finalized the above post, looking forward to that snooze, when Jeremiah jumped on me begging to read books, and I hear Joshua awake in his room. Looks like my day is up and running, fully rested or not!  Have a great day!

We're Moving!

Joshua turned 7 months old this week! He weighs 13 lbs 6 oz now, and he is doing so well. He is a whole different baby since we changed his formula to Nutramigen prior to my last post, so happy and content, and he's sleeping much better, too. Personally, I don't get it. Nutramigen smells like dog food (disgusting!); he gobbles it down like it's candy, but he never did let us feed him my nice yummy breastmilk that I so painstakingly pumped and froze for him. After that rough patch in August, as long as he's eating something and growing like he is, I'm happy. I'm pleased to report my pumped milk is not going to waste because my friend Kimberly's babies (precious twins recently adopted from Ethiopia) love it!

Joshua had a couple of great doctor's appointments this week.  He saw the ophthalmologist for his 6 month follow up, and he passed his 3rd, and final, test to rule out ROP (retinopathy of prematurity).  No issues at all with his vision!  He also saw the cardiologist, and his echo looks great, too.  He just has a "normal variant" that they want to follow until he's one year old, but nothing concerning.  They can't figure out why he still needs oxygen since his heart issue (atrial septal defect) has pretty much resolved (just a tiny, inconsequential opening left), but they aren't concerned.  The cardiologist said we just need to move to a place lower in altitude, and we'll have nothing to worry about.  Speaking of that...

In a couple of weeks, we will be moving to the Gulf Coast of Mississippi.  James got orders to Keesler Air Force Base in Biloxi, MS.  We were disappointed at first because we really got attached to our home, church, friends, family, and neighbors here in Colorado, and we didn't have a say in what our new assignment would be. Quite honestly, we wouldn't have even put it on our preference worksheet if we had an option.  For about a day and a half, we experienced the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) straight out of a textbook.  The first thing James said was, "We are NOT going to let Jeremiah play with any natives down there because I don't want him talking like a hillbilly!" We immediately realized how impossible that would be, so we cracked up at the thought, which was a major tension breaker.  Then, as I was in the "depression" phase the day after we got the news, James enlightened me with a new perspective during Jeremiah's bedtime story.  Jeremiah has been completely obsessed with the Biblical account of Jonah, and he wants me to tell him the story, which he calls "Jonah Cucumber" thanks to the VeggieTales, about 30 times every night before bed. The night after we heard the news of our assignment, I was in the middle of the part where God tells Jonah to "Go to Ninevah," and James walked in.  He said, "I think Keesler is our Ninevah.  God must want us there for some reason." The light bulb turned on, and I suddenly agreed, and acceptance hit. 

Since then, we have gotten excited about the move...well as excited as you could get leaving a place a wonderful as Monument, CO.  As written above, I now sell it as "The Gulf Coast" rather than "The Armpit Of The Country" (ha ha), so you can tell I've warmed up to the idea.  The people down there are really nice.  Beach life should be fun (although I suspect Jeremiah is expecting to see Jonah freshly regurgitated from the whale since that's his only frame of reference to the beach).  Home prices are super cheap, and this will be a great job for James.  He's excited to get back into orthopedics after spending the last 2+ years training and racing triathlons and marathons. Plus, the entire base closes down every other Friday. What's not to love about a 3 day weekend every other week?  Bottom line, I'm determined to be a good military wife and bloom where I'm planted.  After all we've gone through this past year, we try not to let the little things get to us.  As long as we're together as a family, who cares where we are!

A few people have asked me about Joshua's development.  Here's the scoop.  We just have to wait and see what kind of developmental delays he'll have, if any.  So far he's checking all the major ones off the list right on time.  On September 13th, when Joshua's adjusted age was 4 months and 1 week, we were pretty excited when he rolled front to back, right on schedule (in case you didn't see the video posted on Facebook, I included it at the end of this post).  He can ALMOST roll back to front now, too. A physical therapist comes out to our house for an hour of therapy with him once a week, and she seems to think he's coming along well.  The latest focus is on his hip flexors which are tight from laying sprawled out on a NICU bed for nearly 3 months when he should have been tightly packed in with his feet up by his head. 

Scroll down for the latest pictures. The first is a video. The boys love getting tickled to the "Itsy Bitsy Spider." By the time I got the camera out, it was the third time with Joshua, so he wasn't giggling as hard as he did at first. I got a kick out of Jeremiah at the end.



 Joshua looks up to his big brother, and Jeremiah just adores his little brother.

 

 First time sitting in the high chair like a big boy!

 

Here are some pictures taken since my last post. If you are my friend on Facebook, you probably saw some of them already, but I want to include them here as well for my own blog/keepsake. I got the best birthday present: our first family hike!  We walked up nearby Mt. Herman, last mentioned in a previous post Motherhood Mayhem.  It was such a fun day! 

 

All those days sitting in the NICU so many months ago, I dreamed of taking Joshua out and showing him God's wonderful creation firsthand.  He liked it so much, he fell asleep.  :)

 Enjoying a little picnic on the top of Mt Herman (overlooking Monument).

 

 I love these guys!  The bigger Jeremiah gets, the more fun it gets to hike with James (slows him down a tad, closer to my pace).

 

 

Joshua's rolling now!

6 Months Old!

Joshua is 6 months old! Actually, he has been for a few days now. On Sept 7^th, he’ll turn “4 months adjusted," based on his due date. That’s the age we go by when following milestones and answering questions from strangers.

 

 

 On his 6th month birthday, Joshua got his first ride in his "car."  He loved it!

 

August started out great visiting family in Minnesota. We visited at the end of July, and Joshua really thrived at that lower altitude; he didn’t need to wear his oxygen. Jeremiah had a blast with his cousins.



Living it up with two of his favs, "Yaynee" and "RyRy."

 

"Look, Ma, no oxygen!"  It's good to be at Grandma and Grandpa's house (near sea level)!

 

A rare pic of our family together.

 

 

Jeremiah had fun singing his ABC's last month with Grandma Gus and Aunt Greta.

 

Jeremiah showing off his rendition of Pat-a-Cake to his cousins in Minnesota.

Then we returned to Colorado, and things got pretty bad.  I weaned off pumping, so Joshua no longer got the freshly expressed milk.  No big deal since we have a deep freezer stocked full of frozen pumped milk (about a 3 month supply).  Well, it turns out he hates the taste of frozen/thawed milk.  He absolutely refused to drink it any which way we thawed/prepared it. Ok, that’s unfortunate after all those late night pumping sessions, but at least we have formula, right?  Well, the same formula that we had been using to augment my fresh milk suddenly caused a reaction of projectile vomiting right after feeding when it was given full strength.  

Bottom line, Joshua's reflux got a lot worse, and he also developed a reaction to the formula, likely an allergy to milk.  This is all clear to us in retrospect, but it took a lot of trial and error with reflux meds and dosages, formula:breast milk ratios, rice cereal, etc to figure out.  During those two weeks, he would not eat more than an ounce or two over several hours, and he seemed to cry nonstop all day, wouldn’t let us put him down, wouldn’t sleep unless we held him, and he just seemed to be in pain.  He had been gaining about 1-1.5 oz a day, but during those 2 weeks, he LOST a total of 5.5 oz rather than gaining 14-21 oz.   It was pretty stressful on all of us.  Finally, as we were contemplating whether or not to bring him to the hospital for dehydration, we made a last ditch effort and ran to Wal Mart to buy a can of Nutramigen formula (the protein is partially broken down, for cow’s milk allergy).  That was the magic bullet.  He just guzzled it down, and he didn’t throw up.  Since he has been on that, he has been great, happy, content, sleeping on his own, and back to gaining 1-2 oz a day.  He topped 12 lbs today (12 lbs, 0.5 oz to be exact)!  He’s like a “normal” happy baby now.  Whew!  We’re praying this continues because formula reactions can take about 2 weeks to present with babies. 

I’M WONDERING IF AT LEAST ONE MOM OUT THERE CAN RELATE TO THIS STORY:

One day, after being awake every 1-2 hours with Joshua during the night, I reached my breaking point. James was out of town serving as the medical director for a big international rugby tournament, something I was trained to do in my sports medicine fellowship, and I was “stuck” in the trenches at home, totally sleep deprived.  Joshua was refusing to eat, crying nonstop, and when I looked away for a second, Jeremiah, my sweet thoughtful boy, came up to him and just wound up and hit him on the head.  Now, if I stepped out of the situation and looked in, I’d say can you blame him?  If I had an annoying toy that wouldn’t stop making noise, I’d hit it to see what happens, too.  This “annoying toy” was causing Mommy to not give Jeremiah the attention he needed.  But I wasn’t objectively looking in from an outsider’s view. I was at my wits end already, stressed out that Joshua was losing weight and not eating, and I could barely think straight because I was so tired, and I was feeling sorry for myself for being a prisoner in my own home because we still don’t take Joshua out much. I dragged Jeremiah to time out and plopped him down.  Now with TWO screaming kids, I lost it. I put my face in my hands, signed deeply, and just silently prayed, “LORD, I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!  Puh-leeeeze help me before I go completely insane!”  Amazingly, Jeremiah suddenly stopped crying and sweetly said, “Hey Mommy, isn’t it fun having Joshua home from hospo?”  My head jerked up in shock, and I looked at him to see if he was serious. He was smiling. I said, “Do you really think it’s fun to have Joshua home?” and he nodded his head and said, “Yes!”  Even more amazing, at least temporarily, Joshua stopped crying, too.  My bad mood veil lifted as I remembered promising myself several months ago that I would never complain if things got difficult at home because the worst day at home is still better than the best day in the NICU.   I knew we’d make it through the day, and we did.  Yes, the Lord can speak through children when He needs His message to get across clearly.  Sanity preserved…for one more day at least. 



 

The Latest Photos/Update

Jeremiah and Joshua are doing very well. Joshua surpassed 10 lbs today, 10 lbs 2 oz.  He's huge!  His follow up echocardiogram looked great.  The cardiologist just wants to follow along with screening echoes every 2 months until his heart is mature enough for them to see all of the vessels on ultrasound.  He'll likely need oxygen for another couple of months.  He is developing right on track for his adjusted age, so we don't have any concerns so far.  After months of working at it, Joshua made it pretty clear he likes the bottle better than nursing, so I continue to pump while giving him a bottle.  It works for us, and it's much faster than breastfeeding was. 

We finally took Joshua out to go to church two weeks ago.  It was so nice to go as a family.  Just a word of warning to any of my friends who may come across us.  Don't even try to touch Joshua if James is around.  He isn't afraid to bring out his Papa Grizzly when it comes to Joshua.  Don't take it personally if he snaps at you if you get too close.   Our first day out, I was so excited to finally show off my beautiful baby to all the world.  Two of my special friends at church rushed over and started gushing about how cute he is (oh how I loved that!), and naturally, one of them reached for him to touch his hair.  Right about then, James, who was about 10 steps behind me, blurted out, "DON'T TOUCH HIM!"   Oh boy, was I embarrassed! How do you recover from that one?  Of course I agree that we shouldn't expose Joshua to extra germs, but that was pretty harsh.  Bottom line, he's the vigilant one, and I'm the softy.  I wouldn't let strangers touch him, but I don't think friends would hurt him.  I just need to have hand sanitizer right there to offer people first.  I tried to talk to him about coming across a little nicer, but then last week he wouldn't let another friend at church touch him.  Gotta love that protective instinct!  Just thought it would be worth a warning to any of you if you see us.

Here are some pics of my favorite men.

Jeremiah loves holding Joshua.  Here they are sitting at our "pumping/feeding station." Our bedroom has become Jeremiah's play area as he waits for us to finish.  This was taken a few weeks ago.

The bros, just hangin' out.

Sunday, July 15th. My happy guy.

Happy 4 month birthday, Joshua (July 1st)!

I had to include this one since it sums up their feelings so well.  Jeremiah has so much fun "cuddling" with Joshua, who doesn't really appreciate it so much.

I'm a big boy in my Bumbo seat!

Mr. Joe Cool hamming it up.

Tummy Time!

 Yesterday, I got to get out of the house to go play with Jeremiah at the Summer Reading Program celebration.  It was such a fun day at the library. There were so many fun activities, games, treats, and prizes.  Jeremiah loved the bubbles (above).  I got a kick out of him when he pointed toward the fire trucks, so excited.  Of course, he could read books about fire trucks all day.  He started yelling, "To-an! To-an!"  Huh?????  No clue there. I said "show me," and he went running over to the CONE and picked it up.  Of all the fun activities available, he was more excited about the cone than anything else.  And that's as close as he would go to the fire trucks.

Real men wear pink.

Dad and Jeremiah enjoying a rainbow from our deck.