Time For a Quick Update

Howdy!  It has been awhile since I've posted an update.  Life has been very routine with no huge excitement lately. That's AMAZING after all the "excitement" of Joshua's pregnancy!  But for my blog fans out there (I love you, Mom and Dad), here's the update you requested.

JOSHUA:  19 months old now, he is just your typical toddler, always exploring and playing. He loves reading, playing with trucks, and building towers with his Mega Blocks.  This normalcy is beyond our wildest dreams after his rough start.  Sometimes, when we meet new people here in Mississippi, they don't get how scary it was with Joshua in the beginning. They just see a completely normal toddler. If I start to tell his story, their eyes gloss over, or I get a polite response but can tell they're thinking, "uh huh, ya right." That can be annoying sometimes since the first six months of 2012, with our precarious pregnancy and long NICU stay, consisted of the biggest upheaval and testimony of faith in our lives. Now it's as if it's a figment of our imagination.  Actually, that's a good thing. We escaped without any scars, and there's no need to dwell on the difficulty of the past when the present and future are shining so bright.

If you can see it, the bottom line right above Joshua's ear is where he measured at 12 months.

I don't know if Joshua is just glowing from escaping survival mode unscathed, or what, but he is quite possibly the happiest child I've ever seen. Sure he fusses if he's hungry or tired or if he's startled by a loud noise (he's a little sensitive) or if his big brother is too rough with him (but he sure can hold his own now, mastering the Heisman stiff-arm and even going on the offensive at times).  For the most part, though, he's all smiles and giggles. We no longer need to use his adjusted age (based on his due date) to follow his growth or development since he has caught up to his actual age. He just had his 18 month well baby appointment, and he weighs 24.5 lbs, which is in the 23rd percentile for his actual age. His height is in the 48th percentile, and his head circumference is in the 86th percentile. No surprise that he's caught up so well since he eats anything and everything and almost as much as his daddy.

Here's a quick video of how proud Joshua is of his growth.
Look how tall Joshua is!

JEREMIAH: 3.5 years old, he's growing up so quickly. He is enjoying homeschool preschool. It's not really homeschooling, just playing, lots of reading, writing/coloring, and art projects or whatever we feel like doing, but I call it that just because it seems like I'm the only person I know who doesn't send my 3 year old to formal preschool.  We just have fun at home.   He started AWANA Cubbies at church this year, and he absolutely loves it. The latest excitement has been our daily bike rides/walks to watch the big diggers, dump trucks, bulldozers, rollers, etc working in our neighborhood. It's nonstop entertainment for both boys, and they love it when the dump trucks honk and wave.

I LOVE Boys!

About a month ago, Jeremiah convinced us to take the training wheels off his bike. Here's a video. What you can't see in the video is the huge pregnant lady pushing a stroller with one hand and running alongside him with a camera in the other hand, practically jumping with excitement. We were pretty proud of him.

Jeremiah riding with no training wheels! 3.5 years old.

BABY A AND BABY B:  Two days ago, we hit the 29 week milestone. This pregnancy is cruising by pretty smoothly, so I have no complaints. We had a bit of a scare last week when I was having a lot of contractions in a regular pattern, but it turned out to be nothing serious. My uterus is stretched about the same size as a full term singleton pregnancy (6 lbs worth of babies plus lots of amniotic fluid and a huge shared placenta), so it's kind of acting like it's full term. I just overdid it that day and didn't stay on top of my nutrition or fluid intake. It took a few days for the contractions to die down, but we're fine now. It was a wake up call for us to take things down a notch to be a little more sloth-like.

Here's the comparison between 29 weeks with Joshua, about 2 lbs, one week before delivery (and I was sticking my gut out as far as I could to try to look more pregnant!) vs. 29 weeks with two 3+ lb babies.
  

The twins seem to be pretty active, and I'm putting my money on future soccer players, given the way they can kick.  It feels like an octopus lives in my belly! I have continued to get ultrasounds to monitor for growth every three weeks, and they have always been very close in size to each other. Since they share a placenta, one of the risks is discordant growth, where one twin gets more nutrients than the other and grows at a faster rate, but that hasn't been the case with us.  At our last ultrasound, at 26 weeks, they weighed an estimated 2 lbs 2 oz and 2 lbs 4 oz, almost the same size as Joshua at birth (30 weeks).  They were both head down, which is great news for trying to avoid a C-Section (if the first one is breech, I would most likely need a C-section). Hopefully they'll stay in that position.  So far, so good! I'm feeling all of those third trimester annoyances of a normal pregnancy (and then some since it's double the pleasure, double the fun), but I'm not complaining since I missed out on all that with Joshua.  We couldn't be more pleased with how this pregnancy is going!

Announcing........TWINS!!!!!!!!!

HUGE NEWS:  I'm Pregnant!  With TWINS!!!!  

15 weeks along, due in December, and everything with this pregnancy is perfectly normal so far.

That's the nutshell version.  Of course if you've ever read one of my blogs, you know there is always a long version waiting to be told as brevity is not my strong point. Ya got the gist of it in the first two sentences, so feel free to sign off and not miss much. But if you're dying to know more, here's the full scoop.  

First of all, to answer some of the questions I have gotten:  

1. No, we don't know the gender yet. 

2. Yes, twins run in my family. My mom's grandfather had FOUR sets of twins for siblings, but not all of them survived.  This, however, is irrelevant (see #5).

3. No, I have never taken Clomid or any type of infertility medication or IVF (see #5).

4. Yes, I am "Advanced Maternal Age" (> 35 year old) which means I'm one old chick for a pregnant lady.  Geez, I never felt old until seeing that stamped on my chart every OB visit. But no, my "old" eggs had nothing to do with it (see #5) because...

5. They are identical twins.  Monochorionic diamniotic twins, for you med geeks out there.  That means they share one gestational sac; they share a placenta; and they each have their own amniotic sac.  They also have the same genetic makeup.  Unlike fraternal twins, which come from two eggs each fertilized by a separate sperm, these babies started out as one egg and one sperm and split apart 4-8 days after conception, making two babies. This is a spontaneous or random event (medically speaking), so things that increase the likelihood of fraternal twins (maternal age, infertility treatments, race, family history, etc) aren't a factor here. Identical twins occur with a flat rate of 1 out of 350 births regardless of age, history, IVF treatment, etc. 

Now that we got that out of the way...

We had a little bit of drama in the beginning, and HOPEFULLY that's the end of the drama with this pregnancy. As instructed by the MFM (high risk pregnancy doctor), given my history, I went in for an ultrasound at 6 weeks to make sure everything was looking ok.  I was a little apprehensive after Joshua's pregnancy which was sandwiched between two miscarriages, one of which was a twin pregnancy (lost at 12 weeks).  The doctor narrated what she saw, and she said, "ok, there's just one gestational sac..." My last twin pregnancy had two sacs, so my first thought was a slight disappointment that there was just one baby. Then she zoomed in and said, "there's two yolk sacs...and (zooming in more) two babies..." Whoa!  She immediately said, "but don't get too excited because with ultrasounds this early, it's not uncommon for one of the 'fetuses' to reabsorb back into the body, making it a singleton pregnancy. Most women never even know they had twins. They just get their first ultrasound at 8-12 weeks and the twin is gone by then." Then she saw they each had heartbeats.  Baby A's heart rate was 101, rechecked to be 100.  Baby B's was a perfect 120.  100 is low. She said if the heart rate is <100, that's a sign the baby won't survive, and it will just be reabsorbed back into my body.  If it's >100, it's a sign that the baby will most likely survive.  She said it could go either way, so she wouldn't make any predictions. At this point I was thinking, "Can I just please have a non-nail biting pregnancy?"

We kept the whole pregnancy under wraps (no small feat!) until we knew for sure if there was one or two babies in there. We had to wait five weeks, not knowing if we had twins or not. During that time, of course, I fully jumped aboard the twin wagon, reading every website I could get my eyes on and every twin book the local libraries carried. I knew I was setting myself up for disappointment, but I figured if he/she didn't survive, I could at least be a mom of twins for a few weeks and embrace it, but I sure would mourn the loss if it occurred.  I think it was on  my mind literally every minute of every day. James (smart, logical and nearly anti-emotional man that he is), stayed guarded and didn't start reading up on things until after my 11th week, when we knew for sure.  

At 11 weeks, the ultrasound showed two beautiful, active babies each with normal heart rates around 160.  Whew! Crisis averted.  We will get an ultrasound every 3 weeks for awhile to make sure the heart rates and fluid levels look good and that the babies are the same size. With monochorionic twins (sharing a placenta) there is a risk of one twin getting more nutrition than the other and growing at a faster rate. This would be a bad thing, so we'll follow their growth with regular ultrasounds.  As a matter of fact, there are a lot of risks with identical twins, such as prematurity, low birth weight, preeclampsia, placental abruption...all stuff I'd rather not get into now.

When I gave my OB history to the MFM during Joshua's pregnancy, I said I was so bummed about my first miscarriage mainly because it was twins, and I've always wanted twins. He put things in perspective saying "You do NOT want twins!  Nothing but trouble!" Of course he sees only the complications, so he's a little biased, but it did shed a new light on things, that it isn't always fun and games and bringing home two big healthy term babies.  I met a lot of families with twin babies in the NICU, so I know prematurity and complications are a reality for many twins.  Personally, I'm not sure if I can dig up the gumption to go through another round of bedrest and NICU (especially when the closest high level NICU is in New Orleans, 96 miles away from us, and our rock star support network in CO is now far away), so I'm just going to live in denial and do whatever I can to stay as healthy as possible and pray that we can end up with two 6-7 lb babies born at 37 weeks.  Many of you, my prayer partners/supporters from the last time around, are probably sick of me begging for prayers, so I'll hold off on groveling until it becomes a necessity.   But if you just happen to be looking for something to fill your prayer list, please feel free to add us to it, just for continued normalcy of this pregnancy. 

For now, I'm just riding the blissful wave of having a "normal" pregnancy. Unlike with Joshua's pregnancy, I have felt very pregnant from the beginning of this pregnancy with no underlying sense of doom. This first trimester had oppressive fatigue, horrible nausea (both welcomed at the time but thankfully resolved now), and no bleeding. My belly is already bigger than it was when I delivered Joshua at 30 weeks, and I've already gained more weight than I did in that entire pregnancy. I'm just excited to be able to wear maternity clothes this time around.  As James teases, I'm "as big as a house!" which is about the best compliment he can give me after the last time around when I was so anxious about not gaining any weight.  I told him he ain't seen nothin' yet.

Life is good!  

About 30 seconds after our family dispersed after taking the above picture (where he was trying to act like he's not excited for two babies taking over his role as baby in the family), Joshua decided to turn on his charm and act like his normal jovial self.  I love these guys!

One Year Old!

One year ago, I was sitting with Joshua in the NICU. Now I see him crawling all over the house and happily getting into everything he comes across.  It's amazing how so much change can occur in a year! I made a video montage of Joshua's first year which pretty much sums up everything.  Between that project and my recent project of publishing a book out of this blog, I have been walking down Memory Lane a lot lately. I had forgotten so much about the difficulties we faced early on. It's easier to see Joshua as the mover and shaker chatterbox that he is now rather than the frail little thing he was a year ago.  If you're interested in a little stroll down Memory Lane, grab a Kleenex and check out this video.

We had fun celebrating Joshua's birthday this weekend.  Here are some pictures of the day.

Joshua liked his cake so much, he didn't want to share. "Dad, put the knife down, and step away from the cake!" (Thanks for the caption, Allie).

 Birthdays are fun!

 

That little car in the background has been an absolute favorite toy of Jermiah's for over 2 years, through every stage. Unfortunately, through time or just wear and tear, the noisy gizmos/gadgets have become mute beyond repair. I figure it's only fair Joshua gets a noisy car of his own to play with over the next few years. Boy, does he love it!

11 months old 

12 Months Old

 

The video link above has all of his monthly growth pictures together for a quick comparison.  That's about it. Thanks for joining us on this journey!

One Year Anniversary

One year ago today, our life changed drastically. It was the day we "grew up" instantly when we had to make the toughest decision of our lives.  Would we stay in the hospital for a C-section to deliver a 24 week old, 15 oz baby who would have a 40% chance of survival and 100% chance of mental retardation and/or major problems in virtually every organ system? Or would we go home and risk having a stillbirth at any moment?  Oh, and by the way, based on the markers found on ultrasound, the odds of a major choromosomal disorder were pretty close to 100%.  It was the lowest moment of my life.  I specifically remember sitting at the stoplight at the intersection of Hwy 105 and Jackson Creek Parkway. Through tears, I said to James, "For all we know, maybe in 18 years we'll be sitting at his graduation ceremony celebrating a normal high school graduate.  Or college.  Or even medical school!" I don't remember if I truly believed that or not, but I tried so hard to think of something positive, clinging to that seemingly one in a million chance of a healthy baby. 

Well, if you have seen just one other post, you've seen how much of a miracle Joshua is. We made it over six weeks on bedrest before delivering a relatively healthy 30 weeker, which is light years different from a 24 week preemie.  Over the past year, he has completely defied statistics and medical predictions.  Amazing.  Looking at him now, you'd never guess he had such a rough start. Especially since moving to Mississippi in November, he has just taken off with his growth and development.  Just like any other 8 month old, he is now Army crawling across the room and gets up on his hands and knees and rocks back and forth, ready to take off with a true crawl any day now.  And if he isn't super hungry or tired (or being smashed by his big brother), he is all smiles and laughs.

A few days ago, I went back and reread my blog. I was surprised at how much I had forgotten about those early days.  Seeing Joshua now, it's almost unbelievable how bleak his outlook was back then.  I think about how different our life would be if he had been born at 24 weeks weighing less than a pound. If he had survived, he would have many special needs requiring a drastic lifestyle change for our family. Or the other "option," stillbirth. I can't imagine a life without that little ray of sunshine. Why did God choose to spare us when so many other families have to endure so much hardship?  Our faith isn't any stronger than theirs. We aren't any better than anyone else.  We don't love Him any more than they do. Why were we spared?  It's an answer we won't know until we meet Him face to face. 

Looking back, another miracle to attribute to God is the peace He gave me while I was on bedrest. I reached a point of serenity that I had never experienced before or since.  God knew exactly what Joshua needed, and it was any extra blood flow and as little stress hormone as possible. Believe me, there have been moments, in the trenches at home all day with a baby and a toddler, when I have looked back wondering where that serenity went and how I can get it back.  When I realize it now takes me 6 weeks to finish a book, and my daily Bible reading isn't always so...daily, I wish I could have some quiet time to read and relax.  Thankfully, back than I had a hunch life would get busy again, so I savored each moment and stored up all of the relaxing I could. I bet if you average out the whole year, I still had a lot more time "relaxing" than the average person.  I love how I can look back at the hardest time in my life as a time of relaxation. It truly is how you spin it. It's easier to just look back and remember the good stuff. 

So, here we are, at the anniversary of the date that will, for us, live in infamy. Over the past year, every reference to time has been based on "pre-January 18th" and "post-January 18th." Now that a year has past, I finally feel as though I am standing back on dry land again. For most of it, especially during and right after the NICU experience (ok, maybe even during our move across the country away from our family and friends and culture we know and love), I was treading water, barely able to keep my head above the surface. Then it gradually got shallower, and the current lessened, and I can finally say with confidence, "I can handle all this now."  My feet are back underneath me after feeling like the rug was pulled out from under us so harshly. I am not quite as carefree as I once was. A more serious side of my personality has taken over.  I don't think that's a bad thing, just...different.  I have definitely found a higher level of appreciation for the importance of friends and family.  I had never personally realized how vital a role they play. Thank you all so much for getting us through this. From the tangible things like meals to the prayers and encouragement through emails and calls, and lifting us up when we felt like we were hanging from just a thread of a rope, I can't thank you enough.  I still shake my head in amazement thinking of how so many people from so many places joined together in prayer on our behalf. WOW! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Yesterday, Joshua got a little stuck in the Exersaucer.

Today, he discovered a new toy. I was almost as excited as he was when he figured it out.

Welcome 2013!

I initially wrote GOOD RIDDANCE 2012 as a title, but then I changed it, figuring I better keep it more positive.  Let's just say we're happy to officially be in a new year.  I hope everyone had a great Christmas.  We had a nice time celebrating with the boys in Mississippi, but it didn't feel like Christmas without extended family and snow.  We had been traveling so much over the past few months (Minnesota in Oct/Nov and Florida in early Dec, and I was in Texas for a couple of days in Dec), so we didn't have the heart to uproot the boys once we finally stated getting into a routine in our new home.  On Christmas day we donned our shorts and went for a long ride/run (I was on my mountain bike and James ran pushing the double jogger) along the beach to a new playground.  That was a new Christmas tradition for us, and we all had so much fun. See pictures below.

 

Joshua is now 10 months old, and he is growing like a weed...not surprising since his stomach seems to be a bottomless pit. He sure loves to eat!  He has mastered solid foods, and he's down to only a couple of bottles a day (before nap time).  Yesterday he weighed 16 lbs 15.5 oz, which I'll happily round up to 17 lbs.  That's huge.  We were always measuring him on his age adjusted growth scale (based on his due date, not his birth date), and he hovered around the 5th-10th percentile for his adjusted age.  Well, if we look at his adjusted age now, for a 7.5 month old, he'd be at the 26th percentile.  Guess what, folks! He's officially on the 10 month old curve now, and he's in the 7th percentile!  His height is also on the 10 month old curve at around the 10th percentile.  On this pace, he should be "caught up" to normal 12 month olds by his 1st birthday!  Developmentally, it should take 2 years to catch up.   His head circumference is in the 45th percentile for his actual 10 month old age (it has always been big, so not concerning), so he has a big noggin just like his mom and dad.

 

That's about it to report, since the purpose of this blog is mainly to show some pics and videos.  I realize they may be boring to most people, but our family members who haven't seen the kids for awhile might appreciate them. 

 

Oh, you may notice Jeremiah has given Joshua and himself nicknames, and they have stuck. Joshua is Bug.  He has always been so cuddly, and one day I said, "You're my little Cuddle Bug!"  Jeremiah then announced, "We call him BUG!"  He also likes to tell that to everyone, including strangers, which generates some interesting looks.  Jeremiah has named himself Big Pickle, after Goliath in the Veggie Tales movie Dave and the Giant Pickle. He loves doing a straight body fall flat on his face like Goliath did after David hit him with the stone.  He tells everyone to call him Pickle.  

 

  We missed the 8 month old pic since the lamb was packed away by the movers, so here's the 8.5 month picture.

 

It's getting harder to line up Joshua, the lamb, and the sign! 

 

Big Pickle jumping off the bed, his latest favorite hobby. No, we're not trying to generate business for James now that he's back into orthopedics. He lands on a huge pile of blankets and pillows.

 



We came across this Christmas tree scene on the beach one day when we were driving home from church. A professional photographer had it set up for some clients who hadn't shown up yet. She was so nice to let us take a few minutes to take some amateur pics on our own.

 

I love my boys!

 Christmas is so fun!

 

This whole "getting presents thing" is pretty cool!  Forget the rest; I'll just play with the first one I opened.

 

Jeremiah has always had a thing for slides, especially when Dad tries to grab him.

 

It's fun to get thrown up in the air!

 

I'm a spider in a web!

 

I love being LOUD!

 

This video was taken 4 days ago. Joshua creatively maneuvered himself around the room. That's a rare opportunity since it's hard to roam free with his big brother always ready to jump on him. 

 

Yesterday he crawled, kind of!

 



Joshua loves his Johnny Jumper! 

Hanging out with my boys over lunch. 

 

It's so fun to play make believe with Jeremiah. Let's wake up some bears! I didn't grab the camera until the 3rd time I woke up the bears, and it was still fun for him. Oh to be two...

Last video, and you need the volume up to hear Jeremiah singing the Veggie Tales theme song.

 

I accidentally uploaded the wrong pic, and for some reason, I can't delete this, so you can see an outtake, too.