A Little Better Today

The short story:  If you ask me how Joshua is doing, I'd say he is stable, maybe a little improved.

The details:
Joshua is looking a little better today.  He wasn't so lethargic, and I was happy to see him crying (though not as strong as he did before) when I changed his diaper, and bonus when he had a small load of poop in it for me to clean up.  We still don't have a lot of answers because we are waiting on the blood and urine culture results (they take 48-72 hours).  So far, the working diagnoses are sepsis (bacteria in the bloodstream) from the PICC line and ileus (bowel obstruction) caused by sepsis.  Sepsis is a pretty serious disease, but the prognosis is usually pretty good if caught early and treated with the big gun antibiotics.  NEC is still on the differential, but it seems less likely at this point.  His abdominal x-rays have looked about the same today.  His abdomen is still tense and distended, more so than yesterday, but tonight was improved from this morning.  They are going to continue to hold his breastmilk feeds and re-evaluate in the morning. 

Last night we got a call at 10:30 from "Unavailable" on my caller ID.  That's the hospital.  My heart skipped a beat because I know nothing good comes from getting a call from the doctor at 10:30 at night.  As it turns out, they just wanted to keep us informed that Joshua needed an increase in his oxygen, so they switched him to high flow (still nasal cannula, but the air is forced into his lungs more than low flow, what he was on before).  They needed to increase that during the night, but throughout the day, they have weaned it down.  Two nights ago, he was so alert and healthy and happy, even giving us big smiles (I know, just gas, but they looked like real smiles to me).  Yesterday and today, he has looked pretty sick.  His face was pretty dusky and mottled yesterday and this morning, but this afternoon it looked a lot better. 

I woke up this morning embarrassed that I went on a complaining streak last night for all the world to see.  The funny thing is, I felt so much better after getting it off my chest.  This blog has been so therapeutic for me. 

Today was a great day.  My friends from Moms and Beyond threw a baby shower for me, which was so fun.  Those women have been such a huge blessing to me ever since I joined the group, but especially over the past 2 months.  It was very refreshing to take a break from the hospital and celebrate Joshua as an adorable new baby and not as a sick preemie with lines and tubes all over.  I can't wait to cuddle with him in his new homemade baby blanket rather than seeing him through glass wrapped in those sterile hospital thin white blankets. 

My sister Greta had another layover in Denver, so she spent most of the day with us.  That was so fun.  Plus my mom and dad came back to visit after going home for 4 days (hence making everything "all better" by having them back).  I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it.  No matter how old I get, when times get tough, Mom can always make it better.  Dad too, but there's something special about Mom.  Even if she just makes her famous chocolate chip cookies, the smell brings me back to the innocent days of elementary school when I'd come home to that heavenly smell of fresh baked cookies and feel so comforted.  Aaaaah....  Life is good.