Spreading Our Wings

Well, we are on our own now.  My parents left this morning, and this time they took their suitcases with them, so that means they have officially moved out.  I have been sad today, wondering how hard it is going to be juggling everything without them here.  But then I realized it's time to put on the big girl panties...cut the apron strings...spread our wings and fly...however you want to say it, we need to adjust to our new normal and settle in as a family. 

My melancholy feelings started when I called to make a dental appointment for a procedure that I canceled when I went on bedrest.  I actually got stressed out looking at the calendar.  Yes, just a simple appointment, but it got my mind spinning out of control.  How was I going to schedule that appointment when I wasn't sure when Joshua would be home?  How am I going to handle two kids at home?  Ok, all you friends with 3, 4, 5 or 10 kids, I know you are either rolling your eyes or chuckling at me because having only 2 kids would easy for you now.  Will I even be able to take Joshua out and about, or will we be housebound for months?  And my mom and dad won't be here!  On and on my thoughts took over with various scenarios that I might have to face, most of them normal everyday things that all parents go through.  I have always been able to handle a challenge, but raising two kids, one being a preemie, felt worlds apart from the typical sports or academic challenges I have thrived on in the past.  I know, logically, I have nothing to worry about, and it will all work out.  I always questioned whether or not I was making the right decisions with Jeremiah, and I eventually figured out that there are usually multiple right answers.  As long as I love him and go with my gut instincts, it's hard to mess up too badly.  The same goes for Joshua.  Since he's not even home yet, I'll try not to worry about future bridges we'll have to cross until we reach them.  And yes, we can make it on our own.

Joshua is continuing to do well.  They increased his feedings to 3 ml every 3 hours, and he seems to be tolerating it well.  They plan to increase the feedings much more slowly this time.  He really is growing!  Tonight he weighs 3 lbs, 2 oz (1415 g).  Yay, he's three pounds and change now!  I was pretty sure last night's weight was a mistake when the nurse told me he hadn't gained or lost any weight.  He had been growing 20-30 grams a day (almost an ounce), and he has never not grown, so it sounded sketchy to me.  If her weight was correct last night, he gained 3 oz in one day, which I highly doubt is accurate.  But regardless, he is growing!  And I really did see a double chin.  Maybe we have a future sumo wrestler after all.