We had a big wake up call today. I have kind of envisioned taking a "normal" baby home since Joshua now looks like a normal newborn. True, he is relatively healthy, but I'm getting more of a grasp on how we can't treat him like any other baby. Last night, the doctor sat down with me and talked about life outside the NICU, and this morning another doctor confirmed everything he said. He stressed the importance of protecting Joshua's immature immune system. As we learned several weeks ago, the virus that would cause us to have the sniffles gave him full blown pneumonia. That's just one example. It could be a lot worse (for example, chicken pox could cause encephalitis, leading to brain damage). Once he's home, we won't be able to go out and about with him much. Places with other children, such as the church nursery, are definitely off limits. We shouldn't even take him to any crowded places (like church or Walmart) for awhile. Yes, we'll need to redefine what "normal" means for our life. Let's just say Joshua won't be breaking Jeremiah's record of 57 airplane flights in the first two years of life.
Both doctors stressed the biggest thing to worry about is exposure to people who have not been immunized. He shouldn't go near any unimmunized person until he is 6-8 months old. If they would become sick with any of those preventable (with immunizations) diseases, they would be contagious before they come down with symptoms. Joshua could catch it before they would even know they were sick, and it could be lethal for his little body. It was so scary to hear about the potential repercussions. Whooping cough (pertussis) is another big one, and there has been a recent outbreak in CO Springs. I would encourage everyone, child and adult, to get immunized.
All this being said, I ask for understanding from you, my friends. Of course, I want to show off my beautiful baby to everyone and let everyone hold him and love on him like I do, but I have to hold back. Please don't be offended, or hold it against me, if I don't pass him around for everyone to hold. If you are coming for a visit, let us know if you feel like you're starting to come down with something, and we can reschedule. When it comes to my child's health, I need to unleash my inner "mama grizzly bear" and not worry about offending people when the life of my son is on the line. Thank you for having patience with us as we try to figure out all of this ourselves.
Tomorrow Joshua will have a swallow study to evaluate what's going on with his feeding. He has had reflux symptoms for as long as I can remember (arching his back, choking, bradying with feeds, grimacing, crying/panicking with feeds, etc), but it has gotten so much worse yesterday and today. He has an all out hissy fit, screaming, crying, panicking, when it's time to eat. A baby's "happy place" is supposed to be nestled in his mother's breast, and he acts like I'm torturing him when he goes near me. Today, it all clicked with me that this is not normal behavior, and something is wrong causing him pain or distress. I stepped up and strongly encouraged (not taking no for an answer) that it be investigated. I try not to make waves, but I know something is wrong, whether it's reflux, or maybe he's aspirating, or whatever. I figure he's either in pain, or he is tasting that yucky stomach acid, or he knows it's going to be hard to breathe, so he fights it. I hope I'm proven wrong. Please pray for Joshua's swallow study tomorrow, that we'll finally get some answers and give him whatever treatment he needs to have a more enjoyable feeding experience.
Last night he lost 30 grams (1 oz), no surprise given the rough day he had.
Your encouragement has meant so much to us. Thank you!
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Back On the Roller Coaster
Wow. Just WOW. After 70+ days of anxiously wishing we could go home and being told 4 days ago that it would be 2-3 weeks, the tide suddenly turned today. I heard a rumor when I called in before going to bed last night, and it was confirmed this morning. The new plan is to room-in tonight and go home tomorrow morning. {Rooming-in is done before discharge, where parents stay with baby in a hotel room type place right off the NICU. No monitors, just stuff he'd have at home. A nurse is always available if needed, but otherwise you're on your own.}
FREAK OUT! Whoa whoa whoa, I am sooooo not ready to bring a baby home! It was such a far off fantasy that I never even let me get ahead of myself to think that way. So what did I do? Well, I first begged to stay one extra day before going home. On the record, it's for Joshua's sake since he just started eating on his own, and he had a brady episode yesterday while feeding where he turned blue, a tad nerve-wracking. Off the record, another reason is because I didn't even have a place for him to sleep, his carseat was all dirty in the garage, and our house is in need of a good, thorough cleaning. All morning, I ran around working on the first two, and the cleaning will have to happen tonight and tomorrow morning. Thankfully, no one objected to my extra day request, so the new plan is rooming in on Thursday and going home Friday morning. But now, after getting used to the thought of taking him home on Friday, I wish it could be tomorrow as originally planned, and not Friday. I know, I'm so finicky! I'm just so excited!
TIME OUT. It has now been several hours since I wrote those first two paragraphs. I just about deleted them since that news is now obsolete, but I'll leave them in just to convey my roller coaster emotions today. This afternoon at 2:00, Joshua nursed for 26 minutes and was so content. At 5:30 he woke up showing signs of wanting to eat, but every time I tried to put him on my breast, he went ballistic, screaming and crying. After trying for about 25 minutes with no success of latching on, I gave up and tried the bottle. He alternated between crying and sleeping, and he refused to eat. Finally, by 7:30, the nurse and I were concerned enough to call the doctor (he should eat at least every 4 hours, and it was approaching 6 hours). He came to evaluate Joshua and ordered the NG tube back in with scheduled feeds every 4 hours. Joshua has been such a trooper with his feeding, a total superstar, for over 48 hours. He just got tuckered out and needed a break. So he got his last meal through the tube.
I asked the doctor, "So, uh, does this mean we won't go home Friday morning?" and he said, "Absolutely. At minimum he'll be here next week. I tell all my parents of boys to just plan on 42 weeks. Girls can go home at 38 weeks, but boys almost always go two weeks past their due dates." Big sigh on my part. What a total let down! Here I thought our roller coaster days were behind us. James, my logical half, put it all in perspective for me, though. He said he was so glad this happened because he didn't think Joshua seemed ready to go home, and it would have been bad to have this happen at home. True. But you try telling that to my mommy heart. I'll try not to get too excited next time until we are actually home. Hey, look on the bright side. Now I can prolong my procrastination of cleaning the house. I'm off the hook tonight, anyway.
I just called in, and the nurse hadn't weighed Joshua yet because he fell asleep right after she gavaged him (fed him through the NG tube). Last night, he gained almost two ounces (50 g), up to 2660 g or 5 lbs 13.8 oz.
Check out the difference in how his legs look now compared to 2 months ago. It's hard to believe he's the same baby. I love those BabyLegs!
FREAK OUT! Whoa whoa whoa, I am sooooo not ready to bring a baby home! It was such a far off fantasy that I never even let me get ahead of myself to think that way. So what did I do? Well, I first begged to stay one extra day before going home. On the record, it's for Joshua's sake since he just started eating on his own, and he had a brady episode yesterday while feeding where he turned blue, a tad nerve-wracking. Off the record, another reason is because I didn't even have a place for him to sleep, his carseat was all dirty in the garage, and our house is in need of a good, thorough cleaning. All morning, I ran around working on the first two, and the cleaning will have to happen tonight and tomorrow morning. Thankfully, no one objected to my extra day request, so the new plan is rooming in on Thursday and going home Friday morning. But now, after getting used to the thought of taking him home on Friday, I wish it could be tomorrow as originally planned, and not Friday. I know, I'm so finicky! I'm just so excited!
TIME OUT. It has now been several hours since I wrote those first two paragraphs. I just about deleted them since that news is now obsolete, but I'll leave them in just to convey my roller coaster emotions today. This afternoon at 2:00, Joshua nursed for 26 minutes and was so content. At 5:30 he woke up showing signs of wanting to eat, but every time I tried to put him on my breast, he went ballistic, screaming and crying. After trying for about 25 minutes with no success of latching on, I gave up and tried the bottle. He alternated between crying and sleeping, and he refused to eat. Finally, by 7:30, the nurse and I were concerned enough to call the doctor (he should eat at least every 4 hours, and it was approaching 6 hours). He came to evaluate Joshua and ordered the NG tube back in with scheduled feeds every 4 hours. Joshua has been such a trooper with his feeding, a total superstar, for over 48 hours. He just got tuckered out and needed a break. So he got his last meal through the tube.
I asked the doctor, "So, uh, does this mean we won't go home Friday morning?" and he said, "Absolutely. At minimum he'll be here next week. I tell all my parents of boys to just plan on 42 weeks. Girls can go home at 38 weeks, but boys almost always go two weeks past their due dates." Big sigh on my part. What a total let down! Here I thought our roller coaster days were behind us. James, my logical half, put it all in perspective for me, though. He said he was so glad this happened because he didn't think Joshua seemed ready to go home, and it would have been bad to have this happen at home. True. But you try telling that to my mommy heart. I'll try not to get too excited next time until we are actually home. Hey, look on the bright side. Now I can prolong my procrastination of cleaning the house. I'm off the hook tonight, anyway.
I just called in, and the nurse hadn't weighed Joshua yet because he fell asleep right after she gavaged him (fed him through the NG tube). Last night, he gained almost two ounces (50 g), up to 2660 g or 5 lbs 13.8 oz.
Check out the difference in how his legs look now compared to 2 months ago. It's hard to believe he's the same baby. I love those BabyLegs!
Joshua 4 days old
Joshua 2+ months old
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Getting Closer
A few days ago, I was excited Joshua was described as "big and healthy." Now he has a new name. When I called in this morning, the nurse said, "Is this the mother of our SUPERSTAR?" I like that name. He really is a star with this new ad-lib demand feeding plan. He is thriving on making his own schedule. He is a Bales, after all, so he likes to be in control. I wouldn't want someone waking me up from a deep sleep to force food into my tummy if I wasn't hungry, either. He is taking full bottles every 2.5 - 4 hours, and last night he gained 60 grams or 2 oz, to total 2610 g or 5 lbs 12 oz. He is no longer < (less than) 3rd percentile. He's now a rock solid 3rd percentile. Obviously that's not huge, but it's nice he's back on the growth chart. It's big enough to stop the beneprotein, another gas inducing (in my opinion) additive to make him gain weight. His MCT oil (fat) was stopped a few days ago. They are still keeping him on 28 cal (extra calories added to my breastmilk), but eventually that should be weaned down as he grows more.
I almost forgot the most exciting part. They pulled his NG tube. Now we know for sure he's getting 100% of his feeds on his own. Whoever said things just seem to click on the due date seems to be right.
I guess we're freaking out some of the ancillary staff because there's a huge checklist of things they need to do before we go home, and they thought they had weeks to get it done. Now it's down to days, so they are hustling around. It's like once a baby is considered "ad lib demand," one foot is out the door. Very exciting!
Today my sister Greta came to visit for a couple of days. It was fun for me to hang out with her in Joshua's room, and it was fun for Joshua to see her now that he's bigger. James pointed out that Greta being here is a good sign because we tend to have babies or bring them home right after she leaves. With Jeremiah, she took her week of vacation time to visit the week after his due date, and he was born the day after she left. She visited us in February, and within days after she left, Joshua was born. So now we figure she'll leave Thursday, so that probably means he'll come home soon.
We shall see.....
I almost forgot the most exciting part. They pulled his NG tube. Now we know for sure he's getting 100% of his feeds on his own. Whoever said things just seem to click on the due date seems to be right.
I guess we're freaking out some of the ancillary staff because there's a huge checklist of things they need to do before we go home, and they thought they had weeks to get it done. Now it's down to days, so they are hustling around. It's like once a baby is considered "ad lib demand," one foot is out the door. Very exciting!
Today my sister Greta came to visit for a couple of days. It was fun for me to hang out with her in Joshua's room, and it was fun for Joshua to see her now that he's bigger. James pointed out that Greta being here is a good sign because we tend to have babies or bring them home right after she leaves. With Jeremiah, she took her week of vacation time to visit the week after his due date, and he was born the day after she left. She visited us in February, and within days after she left, Joshua was born. So now we figure she'll leave Thursday, so that probably means he'll come home soon.
We shall see.....
Monday, May 7, 2012
DUE DATE!
Today's the day! This is the date circled on my calendar that says, "DUE DATE!!!!" Little did I know, when I wrote that last fall, that Joshua would be over 2 months old by this date. Today one of the nurses said happy birthday and sighed and said, "You wouldn't have wanted to be in labor today, anyway. It's so gray and rainy out there." I appreciated the sentiment and didn't mention that I thought yesterday sure would have been a nice sunny, perfect for labor, day.
I have heard other preemie moms say as soon as their babies hit the due date, things just click, and they suddenly eat really well. I'm hoping that's the case for us, too. Today, Joshua hasn't been eating quite as well as he did yesterday. Here's the good news: a new doctor rotated onto Joshua's team, and she recommended we do a 48 hour trial of "ad-lib demand." That means rather than waking him up to eat every three hours, he runs the show and tells us when he wants to eat, basically like a normal newborn. It also means he won't have to get an exact amount (like the current 51 mL), so we'll just give him as much as he wants. I'm super excited about this because of the 10 babies next door that I've seen come and go, they switch to "ad-lib demand" right before they go home. It's a guarded enthusiasm, though, because the doctor stressed to me that this is just a TRIAL to see how he handles it and if can gain weight well on this regimen.
Last night, he weighed the same as the night before, 2550 g or 5 lbs 10 oz.
Jeremiah had a big day today. This morning I took him to Sport Clipss for his first professional haircut. We had the best stylist, Karen. At first, Jeremiah wasn't very excited about it, and he didn't want to sit in the chair or wear the cape. Then Karen just got down on the floor and started playing with him and reading to him, and every now and then she'd sneak in a snip here and there. I don't think he even realized he was getting his hair cut.
I have heard other preemie moms say as soon as their babies hit the due date, things just click, and they suddenly eat really well. I'm hoping that's the case for us, too. Today, Joshua hasn't been eating quite as well as he did yesterday. Here's the good news: a new doctor rotated onto Joshua's team, and she recommended we do a 48 hour trial of "ad-lib demand." That means rather than waking him up to eat every three hours, he runs the show and tells us when he wants to eat, basically like a normal newborn. It also means he won't have to get an exact amount (like the current 51 mL), so we'll just give him as much as he wants. I'm super excited about this because of the 10 babies next door that I've seen come and go, they switch to "ad-lib demand" right before they go home. It's a guarded enthusiasm, though, because the doctor stressed to me that this is just a TRIAL to see how he handles it and if can gain weight well on this regimen.
Last night, he weighed the same as the night before, 2550 g or 5 lbs 10 oz.
Jeremiah had a big day today. This morning I took him to Sport Clipss for his first professional haircut. We had the best stylist, Karen. At first, Jeremiah wasn't very excited about it, and he didn't want to sit in the chair or wear the cape. Then Karen just got down on the floor and started playing with him and reading to him, and every now and then she'd sneak in a snip here and there. I don't think he even realized he was getting his hair cut.
First Haircut!
After we got home, Jeremiah found a new "hat," and he danced around doing his version of the salsa. (Get it? It's a bag of tortilla chips. Chips and salsa. Ha ha).
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Short Update
I think Joshua has turned a corner. The Food Fairy must have visited last night because 5 out of the last 7 feeds have been full feeds (i.e. no need for the NG tube). That's a huge improvement! He is still pretty inconsistent, though, so the doctor said she thinks it will be 2-3 weeks until he comes home. We'll see about that.
Last night he gained 50 grams, up to 2550 g or 5 lbs 10 oz. They stopped the MCT oil (liquid French fries), so hopefully his gas will improve a little.
Well, the baby in the room next door to Joshua went home yesterday, and another one moved in soon after her left and will be going home tomorrow. That's the 10th neighbor we've had in that room since we moved in. I think I have the mandatory pre-discharge educational videos memorized from hearing them so many times. One of these days it'll be us...
He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. Acts 1:7
Last night he gained 50 grams, up to 2550 g or 5 lbs 10 oz. They stopped the MCT oil (liquid French fries), so hopefully his gas will improve a little.
Well, the baby in the room next door to Joshua went home yesterday, and another one moved in soon after her left and will be going home tomorrow. That's the 10th neighbor we've had in that room since we moved in. I think I have the mandatory pre-discharge educational videos memorized from hearing them so many times. One of these days it'll be us...
He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. Acts 1:7
Saturday, May 5, 2012
The Food Fairy
Um, about that plan for lots of sleeping last night...not so much. Oh boy, it was rough. I don't know what was up, but Joshua was so fussy! He flat out refused to eat (bottle and breast) at 12 and 3, and he nursed for 12 minutes at 6:00. I did not have fun at all. Ok, I know it's not all about me having fun, but a little sleep, at least, would have been nice. Poor little guy had even less fun because he was inconsolable for most of the night. I can't think of an excuse because his circ site is healing so well, and it has been a few days since the shots. Maybe it was the gas. Who knows? Hopefully it was just a fluke night.
The other day, Joshua's nurse posted a sign with this poem above his crib. This is one of several nurses I love. She enthusiastically does things beyond her job description, even making Joshua a homemade Wubbanub. Anyway, about the sign on his crib...as legend has it, once the sign is posted, the Food Fairy comes, and then something clicks, and the baby eats well and goes home soon. I thought it was kind of cute.
Dear Food Fairy
I know that I came a little early
And I need to eat more than I do.
It's a lot to learn and I'm trying hard
And I could use a little help from you.
Teach me to nurse or feed from the bottle;
That'll help me gain a little weight.
Give me the edge so I can go home
My parents think that would be great!
So please, Food Fairy, if you have the time
To stop by my crib tonight
To do your magic and sprinkle your dust
I'll do my best tomorrow to get it right.
Love from,
Joshua
(A baby who just wants to go home)
This morning before I left, I was able to nurse Joshua for 22 minutes, a full feed. That was great. I just talked to Joshua's nurse, and the last two feeds didn't go well at all. He just fought the bottle, so he only got 11 mL and 6 mL. He is a rare case to take the breast better than the bottle. It's getting a little harder to be patient. Our going home relies solely on his ability to eat on his own, and we have no control over that. Just when we think he's starting to get it, he seems to take a step back. Please pray for him to catch on to this important skill. We really don't want him to need a G-tube surgically placed, and that's the next step if he reaches 42 weeks without 100% full feeds. That gives him 2 more weeks to figure it out.
Thanks!
Friday, May 4, 2012
Spas and Slumber Parties
Boy, don't I feel silly after my "freakout 2000" yesterday! No sweat! My morning felt more like a day at the spa than at the endodontist's office! I guess I was wrong. I'll take a root canal over labor any day. Let's just say I'm a big fan of nitrous oxide, and I didn't feel a thing. Between the catnaps and watching HGTV on the tv in the ceiling, I was disappointed when it was all over. I quite enjoyed my carefree visit to La La Land! BTW, does it mean I'm old when I look at my dentist (who looks just like Tim Tebow) and think he looks too young to be doing this? Yep, I thought so.
Speaking of labor, I have several friends (all from different aspects of my life) who have had beautiful babies over the past couple of days. Kara, Kim, Suzy, and Janelle and I were all due within a few days of each other. I felt bad dropping out of the race...no, actually demolishing the competition with my speedy finish (ha!), but now it's fun to be back in the groove with them. I'm the seasoned veteran, looking back on the cramping and sore nipples as a distant memory while they're in the trenches now. Hang in there, ladies! I'm excited for you! Looking at pictures, it's fun for me to see how Joshua fits right in with his cohorts, almost as big, too.
It took me awhile to get over the mourning of the premature ending of my pregnancy. Don't get me wrong. I was excited to have Joshua. I just felt like I missed out on wearing my maternity clothes and showing off my baby bump, nesting, all that fun stuff. My friend Amanda, who is going through a remarkably similar journey right now, opened my eyes to a new perspective. What a blessing it has been to be able to watch Joshua developing and growing so much over the past 10 weeks! It has been a great opportunity to watch the miracle of life unfold right in front of me. Not many people get the opportunity to see their babies up close and personal during this important time of growth, and I've seen it live, not through an ultrasound, every day. Of course I'd prefer a normal, full term delivery, but since that wasn't an option for us, this is a good way to look at it.
Joshua had a better day feeding today. Out of a total of 51 mL per feed, he drank 47, 32, and 44 at 9:00, 12:00, and 3:00, respectively (the remainder given through his NG tube). Then I came in at 6:00, and he had a full feed nursing. He has been sleeping ever since, and it's almost time for his 9:00 feed, so he must have gotten a nice and full tummy. We're getting closer to our goal of 100% non-NG feeds, our last hurdle to going home. Tonight he weighs 2500 grams, or 5 lbs 8 oz, so he lost 1.5 oz. Given that huge gain he had two nights ago, that's not surprising.
I'll be busy tomorrow afternoon and evening, so I can only be at the hospital in the morning. I decided to just stay overnight tonight to avoid the drive home and back here in the morning. Joshua and I get to have a little slumber party! I'm thinking popcorn, movies, and braiding each other's hair are on the agenda. I might even giggle and talk about how hot James Bales is. We'll see how it goes. So far, Joshua's a bit of a party POOPER (pun definitely intended) sleeping the whole time, so I may adjust my plans to include lots of sleeping. Aaaaaah, I like that!
Speaking of labor, I have several friends (all from different aspects of my life) who have had beautiful babies over the past couple of days. Kara, Kim, Suzy, and Janelle and I were all due within a few days of each other. I felt bad dropping out of the race...no, actually demolishing the competition with my speedy finish (ha!), but now it's fun to be back in the groove with them. I'm the seasoned veteran, looking back on the cramping and sore nipples as a distant memory while they're in the trenches now. Hang in there, ladies! I'm excited for you! Looking at pictures, it's fun for me to see how Joshua fits right in with his cohorts, almost as big, too.
It took me awhile to get over the mourning of the premature ending of my pregnancy. Don't get me wrong. I was excited to have Joshua. I just felt like I missed out on wearing my maternity clothes and showing off my baby bump, nesting, all that fun stuff. My friend Amanda, who is going through a remarkably similar journey right now, opened my eyes to a new perspective. What a blessing it has been to be able to watch Joshua developing and growing so much over the past 10 weeks! It has been a great opportunity to watch the miracle of life unfold right in front of me. Not many people get the opportunity to see their babies up close and personal during this important time of growth, and I've seen it live, not through an ultrasound, every day. Of course I'd prefer a normal, full term delivery, but since that wasn't an option for us, this is a good way to look at it.
Joshua had a better day feeding today. Out of a total of 51 mL per feed, he drank 47, 32, and 44 at 9:00, 12:00, and 3:00, respectively (the remainder given through his NG tube). Then I came in at 6:00, and he had a full feed nursing. He has been sleeping ever since, and it's almost time for his 9:00 feed, so he must have gotten a nice and full tummy. We're getting closer to our goal of 100% non-NG feeds, our last hurdle to going home. Tonight he weighs 2500 grams, or 5 lbs 8 oz, so he lost 1.5 oz. Given that huge gain he had two nights ago, that's not surprising.
I'll be busy tomorrow afternoon and evening, so I can only be at the hospital in the morning. I decided to just stay overnight tonight to avoid the drive home and back here in the morning. Joshua and I get to have a little slumber party! I'm thinking popcorn, movies, and braiding each other's hair are on the agenda. I might even giggle and talk about how hot James Bales is. We'll see how it goes. So far, Joshua's a bit of a party POOPER (pun definitely intended) sleeping the whole time, so I may adjust my plans to include lots of sleeping. Aaaaaah, I like that!
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Dental Fears
I feel like I'm running on fumes right now, so I'm going to keep this short. Yesterday really wore me out, and sleep deprivation is setting in. Whaa whaa whaa...but wait. I'm not done whining yet.
Tomorrow I have to go in for a root canal. Some people say that's no big deal, but I'm pretty freaked out by the thought of it. I happen to be the biggest wimp when it comes to dental work. Years ago, I had a couple of bad experiences with minor procedures that were done without the local anesthesia working, and I've have anxiety about it ever since. My friend Kara is going in for an induction tomorrow, and I'm envious. I can honestly say I'd rather be in labor without an epidural than in a dental chair. Really, I'm not a wimpy person. I like to consider myself as pretty tough. But teeth are my Achilles heel. If you want to pray for me to not be a baby tomorrow, I won't object.
In case you are thinking, "I checked in to read about Joshua, and I'm stuck wasting my time reading about Karrn's stupid tooth," sorry about that. I'll apply it to Joshua. An old filling fell out months ago. I got a quick check by the dentist, and he said the tooth was fine; it just needed a new filling. We booked the appt for after the holidays, and then our whole pregnancy bedrest thing happened. Needless to say, when you're faced with life or death decisions and the job of keeping a baby alive, your tooth becomes the least of your priorities. I canceled the appointment to avoid disrupting bedrest, and then stresses of the NICU life got in the way, so it was months later when I finally made it back in. By then, the decay was very bad. Over the past couple of weeks, an abscess has developed...and a root canal is required. The moral of the story is: Be true to your teeth, and they won't be false to you. If you are postponing a dental appointment, "STOP IT!" (inside joke for any Tri Lakes Chapel folks).
I'll try to think of a positive spin on having a root canal...it will probably be a lot easier handling everything going on right now without a constant toothache distracting and annoying me.
Tonight Joshua weighs 2545 grams, up 5 grams, to 5 lbs 9.77 oz. So, maybe last night wasn't so far off. He had one good feed today, when he nursed for 25 minutes. Other than that, he wasn't very interested. I think he is still recovering from his rough day yesterday. Hopefully things will look up tomorrow.
Tomorrow I have to go in for a root canal. Some people say that's no big deal, but I'm pretty freaked out by the thought of it. I happen to be the biggest wimp when it comes to dental work. Years ago, I had a couple of bad experiences with minor procedures that were done without the local anesthesia working, and I've have anxiety about it ever since. My friend Kara is going in for an induction tomorrow, and I'm envious. I can honestly say I'd rather be in labor without an epidural than in a dental chair. Really, I'm not a wimpy person. I like to consider myself as pretty tough. But teeth are my Achilles heel. If you want to pray for me to not be a baby tomorrow, I won't object.
In case you are thinking, "I checked in to read about Joshua, and I'm stuck wasting my time reading about Karrn's stupid tooth," sorry about that. I'll apply it to Joshua. An old filling fell out months ago. I got a quick check by the dentist, and he said the tooth was fine; it just needed a new filling. We booked the appt for after the holidays, and then our whole pregnancy bedrest thing happened. Needless to say, when you're faced with life or death decisions and the job of keeping a baby alive, your tooth becomes the least of your priorities. I canceled the appointment to avoid disrupting bedrest, and then stresses of the NICU life got in the way, so it was months later when I finally made it back in. By then, the decay was very bad. Over the past couple of weeks, an abscess has developed...and a root canal is required. The moral of the story is: Be true to your teeth, and they won't be false to you. If you are postponing a dental appointment, "STOP IT!" (inside joke for any Tri Lakes Chapel folks).
I'll try to think of a positive spin on having a root canal...it will probably be a lot easier handling everything going on right now without a constant toothache distracting and annoying me.
Tonight Joshua weighs 2545 grams, up 5 grams, to 5 lbs 9.77 oz. So, maybe last night wasn't so far off. He had one good feed today, when he nursed for 25 minutes. Other than that, he wasn't very interested. I think he is still recovering from his rough day yesterday. Hopefully things will look up tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Rough Day For the Bales Boys
Jeremiah was sick today. Poor thing, he was not at all like his usual energetic self. He just wanted to cuddle all morning. He was crabby when he woke up, so I knew something was wrong because he usually wakes up happy. My suspicions were confirmed when he threw up at the breakfast table...and again...and again in the living room. I was marveling at how my attitude has changed over the years. In the distant past, I would have been so grossed out, but today I was sitting at the table, my clothes all soaked in vomit, and it didn't even phase me. I must have "mom blood" flowing through my veins. Plus, I dare say, I can multitask with the best of them. I was pumping, eating breakfast, comforting Jeremiah and cleaning up puke all at the same time. Ok, since there was a big puddle of it in my lap, my mom assisted with the latter (the "mom blood" does not disappear when you become a grandma, I guess). Thankfully, by this afternoon, he was acting like nothing was wrong. Amazing how kids can bounce back so quickly!
Then there's Joshua. He had a rough day today. Last night he got his two month immunizations (so much for Happy Birthday), so he was pretty fussy today. I think he just wanted to cuddle, too. Since I couldn't be two places at once, I called up my Deputy Mom, Grandma Gus, to step up for cuddle duty. She spent most of the day in the NICU while I was with Jeremiah at home. James was able to stop by between Warrior Games events, and he was here for the next rough part of Joshua's day, his circumcision. I guess since he's already miserable from the shots and taking Tylenol for that, might as well get it all over with at once.
Now I'm in the NICU. I just tried feeding Joshua, and he didn't want to have anything to do with it, so he started crying and pulling away from me. Before I could stop him, he reached up and yanked off the tape and his NG tube. Ouch! It just tore right off. Such a strong baby! Whenever he needs that dressing changed, we do it so slowly and gently. This time, he did it, and he pulled some skin off with it. It broke my heart to see him screaming bloody murder, much harder than I've ever seen him scream. Oh poor kiddo, he just needs to start fresh with a new day.
I'm not sure what's up with the scale here, but Joshua supposedly gained 130 grams (over 4 oz) since last night, now up to 2540 grams or 5 lbs 9.6 oz. I had the nurse redo it because there is no way he would have gained that much. Sure enough, that's exactly what it was the second time. So either last night's 10 gram gain was wrong, or something's up with the scale. I don't buy it. We'll see what tomorrow's weight is. There's a reason they look at weekly trends in weight rather than day to day.
I just reread this before posting, and it made me think...what a glamorous life I live! Oh boy, pretty pathetic. The funny thing is, as unglamorous as this all seems, it was a great day. James and I got to make a quick trip to Chipotle together, and we were marveling over how long it has been since we had a real date, alone together. Of course we spent the whole time talking about the kids we were missing, but it was still fun. That little break made my day.
Then there's Joshua. He had a rough day today. Last night he got his two month immunizations (so much for Happy Birthday), so he was pretty fussy today. I think he just wanted to cuddle, too. Since I couldn't be two places at once, I called up my Deputy Mom, Grandma Gus, to step up for cuddle duty. She spent most of the day in the NICU while I was with Jeremiah at home. James was able to stop by between Warrior Games events, and he was here for the next rough part of Joshua's day, his circumcision. I guess since he's already miserable from the shots and taking Tylenol for that, might as well get it all over with at once.
Now I'm in the NICU. I just tried feeding Joshua, and he didn't want to have anything to do with it, so he started crying and pulling away from me. Before I could stop him, he reached up and yanked off the tape and his NG tube. Ouch! It just tore right off. Such a strong baby! Whenever he needs that dressing changed, we do it so slowly and gently. This time, he did it, and he pulled some skin off with it. It broke my heart to see him screaming bloody murder, much harder than I've ever seen him scream. Oh poor kiddo, he just needs to start fresh with a new day.
I'm not sure what's up with the scale here, but Joshua supposedly gained 130 grams (over 4 oz) since last night, now up to 2540 grams or 5 lbs 9.6 oz. I had the nurse redo it because there is no way he would have gained that much. Sure enough, that's exactly what it was the second time. So either last night's 10 gram gain was wrong, or something's up with the scale. I don't buy it. We'll see what tomorrow's weight is. There's a reason they look at weekly trends in weight rather than day to day.
I just reread this before posting, and it made me think...what a glamorous life I live! Oh boy, pretty pathetic. The funny thing is, as unglamorous as this all seems, it was a great day. James and I got to make a quick trip to Chipotle together, and we were marveling over how long it has been since we had a real date, alone together. Of course we spent the whole time talking about the kids we were missing, but it was still fun. That little break made my day.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Two Months Old!
Happy Birthday, to you! Happy Birthday, to YOU! Happy Birthday, dear Joshua! Happy Birthday, to yyyyyoooooooouuuuuuuuu!
It's hard to believe two months have past since Joshua was born. Joshua is now what I consider one of the seniors in the NICU class of 2012. He just has to pass his final exams (perfecting his feedings, which may take a couple of weeks), and he'll graduate with honors.
I overheard his nurse talking to another nurse today, and she referred to him as "big and healthy." That's music to this mama's ears! Tonight he gained 10 grams, up to 2410 g or 5 lbs 5 oz.
On the flip side, I talked to another NICU mom, and she thought she was having a perfectly normal pregnancy until she suddenly went into preterm labor and had her baby that day, at 31 weeks. It was such a traumatic event for her, and, understandably, she has had such a difficult time dealing with it since her baby was born. We had our difficult time during the weeks leading up to delivery; looking back, I'm thankful for that prep time.
In a similar situation, my sister Heidi found out her firstborn had trisomy 18 two weeks before she delivered. For two weeks, they went through their mourning period expecting a baby "not compatible with life." When Callie was born, it was such a joyous occasion that she was pink and alive. Had they not had that two week notice, imagine how difficult it would have been to be shocked with that diagnosis at birth.
My point of all this is I'm glad I am able to look back and see the silver lining (preparation time) in our situation. It's good to store up these "successful" crises as we go through them and try to focus on the positive, so down the road when future crises occur, we'll know God hasn't let us down before, and he won't in the future either.
It's hard to believe two months have past since Joshua was born. Joshua is now what I consider one of the seniors in the NICU class of 2012. He just has to pass his final exams (perfecting his feedings, which may take a couple of weeks), and he'll graduate with honors.
I overheard his nurse talking to another nurse today, and she referred to him as "big and healthy." That's music to this mama's ears! Tonight he gained 10 grams, up to 2410 g or 5 lbs 5 oz.
Here's his monthly growth picture, comparing him to his stuffed lamb. Check out how he's busting out of his size preemie outfit! He's in the middle of celebrating, saying, "Yay! It's my birthday!"
For comparison, here he was one month ago, 3 lbs 14 oz.
And this was 2 weeks old (it's hard to see the size when he's wrapped in the blanket), 2 lbs 12 oz.
I was reflecting back a little today, and I realized how thankful I am for the way things have turned out. Right now, I won't go into all the miracles that have occurred since January, when this all started (that's covered ad nauseum in my previous posts). The thing I'm thinking of now is how perspective is such a huge factor in handling a crisis. In our situation, when we thought we'd deliver at 24 weeks, every day after that was bonus. Once we made it to 28 weeks, it was all icing on the cake, and we were absolutely ecstatic that he made it to 30 weeks. His birth was such an exciting event, seeming like we already won the race, even though the race was a marathon that was just beginning. During my 6+ weeks of bedrest, I read up on life in the NICU, caring for a preemie, etc. I felt really prepared. Of course it's impossible to be 100% prepared for something so life changing, but it helped to gear up for it over several weeks.
On the flip side, I talked to another NICU mom, and she thought she was having a perfectly normal pregnancy until she suddenly went into preterm labor and had her baby that day, at 31 weeks. It was such a traumatic event for her, and, understandably, she has had such a difficult time dealing with it since her baby was born. We had our difficult time during the weeks leading up to delivery; looking back, I'm thankful for that prep time.
In a similar situation, my sister Heidi found out her firstborn had trisomy 18 two weeks before she delivered. For two weeks, they went through their mourning period expecting a baby "not compatible with life." When Callie was born, it was such a joyous occasion that she was pink and alive. Had they not had that two week notice, imagine how difficult it would have been to be shocked with that diagnosis at birth.
My point of all this is I'm glad I am able to look back and see the silver lining (preparation time) in our situation. It's good to store up these "successful" crises as we go through them and try to focus on the positive, so down the road when future crises occur, we'll know God hasn't let us down before, and he won't in the future either.
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