Back On the Roller Coaster

Wow.  Just WOW.  After 70+ days of anxiously wishing we could go home and being told 4 days ago that it would be 2-3 weeks, the tide suddenly turned today.  I heard a rumor when I called in before going to bed last night, and it was confirmed this morning.  The new plan is to room-in tonight and go home tomorrow morning.  {Rooming-in is done before discharge, where parents stay with baby in a hotel room type place right off the NICU.  No monitors, just stuff he'd have at home.  A nurse is always available if needed, but otherwise you're on your own.}

FREAK OUT! Whoa whoa whoa, I am sooooo not ready to bring a baby home! It was such a far off fantasy that I never even let me get ahead of myself to think that way.  So what did I do? Well, I first begged to stay one extra day before going home. On the record, it's for Joshua's sake since he just started eating on his own, and he had a brady episode yesterday while feeding where he turned blue, a tad nerve-wracking.  Off the record, another reason is because I didn't even have a place for him to sleep, his carseat was all dirty in the garage, and our house is in need of a good, thorough cleaning.  All morning, I ran around working on the first two, and the cleaning will have to happen tonight and tomorrow morning.  Thankfully, no one objected to my extra day request, so the new plan is rooming in on Thursday and going home Friday morning.  But now, after getting used to the thought of taking him home on Friday, I wish it could be tomorrow as originally planned, and not Friday.  I know, I'm so finicky!  I'm just so excited! 

TIME OUT.  It has now been several hours since I wrote those first two paragraphs.  I just about deleted them since that news is now obsolete, but I'll leave them in just to convey my roller coaster emotions today. This afternoon at 2:00, Joshua nursed for 26 minutes and was so content.  At 5:30 he woke up showing signs of wanting to eat, but every time I tried to put him on my breast, he went ballistic, screaming and crying. After trying for about 25 minutes with no success of latching on, I gave up and tried the bottle.  He alternated between crying and sleeping, and he refused to eat.  Finally, by 7:30, the nurse and I were concerned enough to call the doctor (he should eat at least every 4 hours, and it was approaching 6 hours).  He came to evaluate Joshua and ordered the NG tube back in with scheduled feeds every 4 hours.   Joshua has been such a trooper with his feeding, a total superstar, for over 48 hours. He just got tuckered out and needed a break.  So he got his last meal through the tube.

I asked the doctor, "So, uh, does this mean we won't go home Friday morning?" and he said, "Absolutely. At minimum he'll be here next week. I tell all my parents of boys to just plan on 42 weeks.  Girls can go home at 38 weeks, but boys almost always go two weeks past their due dates."  Big sigh on my part. What a total let down!  Here I thought our roller coaster days were behind us.  James, my logical half, put it all in perspective for me, though. He said he was so glad this happened because he didn't think Joshua seemed ready to go home, and it would have been bad to have this happen at home.  True.  But you try telling that to my mommy heart.  I'll try not to get too excited next time until we are actually home.  Hey, look on the bright side.  Now I can prolong my procrastination of cleaning the house. I'm off the hook tonight, anyway.

I just called in, and the nurse hadn't weighed Joshua yet because he fell asleep right after she gavaged him (fed him through the NG tube). Last night, he gained almost two ounces (50 g), up to 2660 g or 5 lbs 13.8 oz.

Check out the difference in how his legs look now compared to 2 months ago. It's hard to believe he's the same baby.  I love those BabyLegs!

Joshua 4 days old

Joshua 2+ months old