Congratulations, NICU Graduate!

Well, here we are...83 days ago, after 44 days of bedrest, we welcomed Joshua into this world. Today we said good bye to the only home he has known outside of my womb. I surprised myself by getting choked up when it was time to say good bye to the nurses and doctors who have become family to us.  We are so thankful for the team of people who have so lovingly cared for, protected and saved Joshua's life, nurturing him as he grew from 2 lbs 5 oz to 6 lbs 8 oz.


I had to reign in my excitement because a baby in our pod has had five surgeries over the past 114 days, and he isn't even close to going home yet.  Having had 13 babies come and go from the room next to ours, I know how bittersweet it is to be excited for a baby to go home but sad it's not us.  My heart goes out to all the families who don't have the same happy ending that we do today.  There is definitely a bond we share, going through this endurance race.  It's a fraternity that none of us wanted to join, but it's so helpful talking to people who are going (or have gone) through similar situations.  It's pretty hard to fully grasp the magnitude of the raw emotions of the ups and downs that occur on a daily basis unless you've gone through it yourself.  I have tried to take you along with me on this wild ride.  Now, it is such a joy to have it in the rear view mirror.

I would say bringing a newborn baby home is like running a marathon. It's exciting to toe the line and feel full of anticipation when the gun goes off.  Then you get a little freaked out because you realize the magnitude of what you just got yourself into.  As you go along, you feel worn out, and at times wonder if you can still continue to put one foot in front of another because of sheer exhaustion. There isn't a lot of glory in running a marathon (how many pro marathoners can the average person name?), but the feeling you get when you cross the finish line is priceless, and the experiences along the way are so exciting.  Doesn't that sound like life with a newborn?

If bringing a baby home is running a marathon, our experience has been an Ironman. The bedrest phase was the swim leg. For some people this is the easy part, and for others it's a fight to keep your head above the water.  T1 (transition) was labor and delivery. In my case, I had a definite PR (personal record time) for T1, piece of cake.  The NICU experience, just as the bike leg in triathlon, is the second and longest leg. It's a hilly course with lots of ups and downs and a huge head wind, so you feel like you're pedaling hard but going nowhere.  T2 is rooming in at the hospital. Then, when you feel like you are totally spent, it's time to bring home a baby and start that marathon (or I could consider it our victory lap).  Like any triathlon, all three disciplines are grueling, and different athletes will consider a different leg the most challenging.  James had the hardest time with the bedrest, the daily anxiety of not knowing if the baby was thriving or even alive.  I think the roller coaster ride of the NICU experience was the worst, with our family split apart for so long.  I don't know where the finish line is in this little analogy, but that's part of the excitement. It's all about the journey, and not the destination...unless our destination is a healthy, happy baby and family, then it's about the finish line.  Or maybe our finish line is sitting at Joshua's high school (or college, or med school?) graduation and looking back at his rough start as a distant, but poignant, memory, amazed at all he has overcome.  It will be interesting to see how this story unfolds. 


For now, we are content to settle in at home and try to find some semblance of normalcy in our life and actually redefine what normal really is.  So, folks, there you have it.  We reach the end of this phase in our journey.  I plan to blog sporadically with stories and pictures, but don't expect any further regular, daily updates.  Thanks for allowing me to vent, process, whine, and relive so many moments through this "blog therapy."  With that, I sign off with a huge thank you. I know we definitely would not have made it through all of this as well as we have without so many loved ones lifting us up in prayer, encouraging and supporting us, bringing us meals, and being shoulders to cry on.  Every email, Facebook message, blog comment, call and text was vital to my sanity.  My eyes have been opened to how good people really are.  Since it's impossible to pay you all back for your kindness, I plan to pay it forward and be more open to reaching out to others in need.  What a great life lesson!  THANK YOU!

 Dr. Laird, Joshua's neonatologist who took the handoff from OB/MFM back on March 1st. We were excited to come full circle since she was on duty for his admission and discharge.

 The biggest day of Joshua's life, and he fell asleep the minute we left the NICU, completely oblivious to all the excitement.

 Aunt Greta and Jeremiah made this "Welcome Home Baby Joshua" sign.  My new fashion accessory is that shoulder bag carrying his oxygen tank.  Pretty stylish, huh!

 Jeremiah was excited to see his little brother home for the first time.  He wasn't as excited later on when he realized he isn't 100% the center of attention anymore.

 He was initially a little leery about getting too close, but he was excited. 

 "So when do we get to wrestle?"

 Jeremiah gave Joshua about 100 "gentle kisses."  So sweet.

Relaxing and bonding with Grandpa Bob.