Wake Up Call

We had a big wake up call today.  I have kind of envisioned taking a "normal" baby home since Joshua now looks like a normal newborn.  True, he is relatively healthy, but I'm getting more of a grasp on how we can't treat him like any other baby.  Last night, the doctor sat down with me and talked about life outside the NICU, and this morning another doctor confirmed everything he said.  He stressed the importance of protecting Joshua's immature immune system.  As we learned several weeks ago, the virus that would cause us to have the sniffles gave him full blown pneumonia.  That's just one example.  It could be a lot worse (for example, chicken pox could cause encephalitis, leading to brain damage).  Once he's home, we won't be able to go out and about with him much.  Places with other children, such as the church nursery, are definitely off limits.  We shouldn't even take him to any crowded places (like church or Walmart) for awhile.  Yes, we'll need to redefine what "normal" means for our life. Let's just say Joshua won't be breaking Jeremiah's record of 57 airplane flights in the first two years of life.

Both doctors stressed the biggest thing to worry about is exposure to people who have not been immunized. He shouldn't go near any unimmunized person until he is 6-8 months old.  If they would become sick with any of those preventable (with immunizations) diseases, they would be contagious before they come down with symptoms. Joshua could catch it before they would even know they were sick, and it could be lethal for his little body.  It was so scary to hear about the potential repercussions. Whooping cough (pertussis) is another big one, and there has been a recent outbreak in CO Springs.  I would encourage everyone, child and adult, to get immunized. 

All this being said, I ask for understanding from you, my friends.  Of course, I want to show off my beautiful baby to everyone and let everyone hold him and love on him like I do, but I have to hold back. Please don't be offended, or hold it against me, if I don't pass him around for everyone to hold.  If you are coming for a visit, let us know if you feel like you're starting to come down with something, and we can reschedule.  When it comes to my child's health, I need to unleash my inner "mama grizzly bear" and not worry about offending people when the life of my son is on the line.  Thank you for having patience with us as we try to figure out all of this ourselves. 

Tomorrow Joshua will have a swallow study to evaluate what's going on with his feeding.  He has had reflux symptoms for as long as I can remember (arching his back, choking, bradying with feeds, grimacing, crying/panicking with feeds, etc), but it has gotten so much worse yesterday and today.  He has an all out hissy fit, screaming, crying, panicking, when it's time to eat.  A baby's "happy place" is supposed to be nestled in his mother's breast, and he acts like I'm torturing him when he goes near me. Today, it all clicked with me that this is not normal behavior, and something is wrong causing him pain or distress.  I stepped up and strongly encouraged (not taking no for an answer) that it be investigated. I try not to make waves, but I know something is wrong, whether it's reflux, or maybe he's aspirating, or whatever.  I figure he's either in pain, or he is tasting that yucky stomach acid, or he knows it's going to be hard to breathe, so he fights it.  I hope I'm proven wrong. Please pray for Joshua's swallow study tomorrow, that we'll finally get some answers and give him whatever treatment he needs to have a more enjoyable feeding experience. 

Last night he lost 30 grams (1 oz), no surprise given the rough day he had. 

Your encouragement has meant so much to us. Thank you!