Power In Weakness

What a fun day!  I got to give Joshua a bath for the first time (the nurses have bathed him when I haven't been there).  We had so much fun playing.  Ok, I better rephrase that...I had so much fun playing.  He pretty much screamed bloody murder through most of it.  At first he liked it, like he was in a hot tub. But then when I started soaping him up, he changed his mind.  I still thoroughly enjoyed it.  I didn't have my camera with me, so I took a few pics on my phone, but I haven't yet figured out how to get them from my phone to the computer.  If I can figure it out tomorrow, I'll post them (don't hold your breath since I'm not too technically savvy). 

After his bath, Joshua got his reward by getting kangaroo care for a few hours afterward. Now THAT I know he loves. He slept the whole time.  He's getting nice and spoiled with cuddle time. 

He gained an ounce tonight.  He's up to 4 lbs 1 oz now, or 1840 g.  They increased the feeds to 32 mL every 3 hours and increased the protein and caloric supplementations because they think he is still too small.  He has been hanging out at < 3% for his age on the growth chart for the past month.  I was hoping he would have caught up a little by now, but looking back at how often his food has been stopped, it's not surprising he has been slow to gain weight. 

Joshua had an abdominal ultrasound today because of his elevated liver test, and it was normal.  The elevation is probably just from being on TPN (nutrition through the PICC line) for so long.

Today I went to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) for the first time since mid January.  It was so fun to see my friends again and pick up on the study.  One passage struck me...

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I have to admit I can't say I "delight" in the difficulties we have been going through.  I'm going to try to change my mindset on that.  But it is a good point that when I am weak, it gives God a chance to step in and show off His strength.  James and I were talking about this.  We used to feel like we were pretty strong, but by trying to be self sufficient, we weren't letting Christ work fully in our lives.  Over the past few months, we have definitely realized how weak we truly are.  We have absolutely no control over Joshua's medical issues, and that has really thrown us for a loop.  Out of necessity, we have relinquished all control and just handed Joshua over to God.  Over and over, Christ has used this as an opportunity to show us His strength by showing us His miracles, from the serenity I had on bed rest to Joshua repeatedly proving the medical community wrong and overcoming obstacles.  God has strengthened our marriage and drawn us closer together as a family.  As much as I have tried to keep a good attitude through all this, I still catch myself whining about it.  Then, inevitably, I hear of another family's story that seems much more challenging than ours, and I'm humbled.  I am just so thankful Joshua is doing as well as he is, so I can't complain about anything.  It's just nice to know when I feel so weak and overwhelmed, I'm setting the stage for Christ to perfect His power.